Back when I was a kid, I thought Corey Feldman was the coolest guy ever. He was just in so many sick movies – The Burbs, The Goonies, Licence To Drive, The Lost Boys, Stand By Me, Gremlins etc etc – and just looked like a really cool guy and also had a really sick name. He basically had it all.
I don’t really know where it went wrong for him and why he doesn’t make movies anymore – I mean I would DEFINITELY pay to go and see one of his new movies – but he has had some well documented substance abuse problems so it’s probably got something to do with it. I guess nobody will hire him to make a movie anymore because of that.
But it’s not all bad news because his lack of a movie career has allowed him to focus on his other great love: music. I found out a few years ago that he had released a few records of him playing guitar but I never bothered to listen to them or buy them because it just sounded like it was going to be complete and utter toss, even if it was Corey Feldman. I kinda just ignored it.
There was no way I could ignore his new music video though because it’s one of the most ridiculous videos I’ve seen and the song itself is completely unbelievable. Like 100% unbelievable. It just doesn’t make any sense. I mean I thought Corey Feldman was a guitarist but this music is some autotuned weirdass pop music that sounds like it’s from the future or something.
You think the whole song is gonna be like that but then when the chorus comes in Corey Feldman starts growling and snarling which is awesome but just makes the whole thing even stranger and sound like even more of a mess. It is kind of catchy though, mainly because it’s so stupid.
The song is called Ascension Millennium which again doesn’t make any sense and probably isn’t even grammatically correct. You can’t really hear what he’s singing throughout the video because of the autotune that’s all over it and because he’s trying to say as many words as possible without breathing and I can’t find the lyrics anywhere, but I doubt even if I could it would contribute in any way to actually knowing what the song was about or what the hell Ascension Millennium even means. I kinda like it that way though, just with Corey Feldman yelling it over and over again in people’s faces while he walks around his mansion.
That brings us to the video which is even more bizarre than the song if that’s possible. I think it’s trying to convey a day in the life of Corey Feldman as in it he just walks around his mansion having a good time, you know – playing with his band (where inexplicably the walls of the room turn into an arena!?) hanging out at the pool, getting his chef to cook him some food, doing his hair, dressing up as Michael Jackson and dancing like Michael Jackson with a bunch of his buddies etc etc. It works quite well as a video because it looks like it’s all one shot and loads of stuff is happening but again it’s just like WTF is going on and why is this happening?! The whole situation has me completely perplexed. You’ve just gotta see it to believe it I guess.
Check out the video below and let us know if you manage to understand it. I also found a video of him playing it live at Whiskey A Go Go which is even stranger because he’s wearing some kind of My Chemical Romance Black Parade style jacket and really hamming it up and going crazy. There’s also about 17 people in his band all doing different stuff. It doesn’t even sound good. I guess he must be at the age where he’s having a mental breakdown because there’s no way anyone in their right mind would be doing this.
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