What’s cooler than 80’s horror icons like Jason, Freddy, Chucky and the Predator? Not much right?
Ice lollies? Probably not. I mean, there are some cool ice lollies out there like Twisters and Magnums and Feasts and maybe even Mini Milks, but they’re not really that cool are they, they’re just a cool kinda snack for when it’s really hot or you just feel like you deserve a treat for dessert or whatever. Nobody thinks ice lollies are as cool as 80’s horror icons, or even the world’s weirdest underwear or UFO cults or anything. They’re just kind of OK – everyone knows them but nobody really goes on about them like they rule or anything though.
But what about if somebody combined 80’s horror icons with ice lollies? That would be pretty cool right? Correct, it would be and this is exactly what has been done by STOYN, who describe themselves as an independent ‘ambient advertising’ firm based in the Russian town of Lobyna. I’m not sure exactly what ‘ambient advertising’ means and how it relates to making ice lollies of famous horror movie characters but I’m not complaining because they are damn cool.
It’s just a shame that they don’t come in any better flavours because as much as I would love to tuck into a Freddy Krueger ice lolly, but tomato hot pepper is just not a flavour that I can picture myself enjoying. At all. The same goes for the celery melon of the Predator. What the hell kind of a flavour for anything is celery melon? Seriously? Whatever happened to strawberry, or mint chocolate chip? Or even rocky road or chocolate chip cookie dough? The hellraiser’s blue mint curacao sounds like it might be OK but I don’t know what curacao means so it might be gross. Jason Voorhees and cheesecake flavour ice lolly too – I’m not sure about that, how can they even translate the crunch of a cheesecake to an ice lolly?
I guess I’ll just have to suck it and see when it comes out, which is apparently soon according to the posters. If you check out the STOYN website they have actually been made as there are some pictures of people eating them (I’ve included them at the bottom of this post) so they have actually made them and it’s not some lame thing where they just make up posters of stuff that might be cool, but nonetheless I find it pretty hard to believe that they’ll be readily available any time soon anywhere though. Still, we can only hope.
Having said that though, it does seem like STOYN are pretty serious about their ‘icons ice lolly range’ as they’ve already released one set of them which includes characters like Darth Vader, Super Mario, Marilyn Monroe and Che Guevara, and they’ve already set up a store in Miami somewhere to sell them. Here’s a pretty cool video detailing that process that has a band that sounds like Rancid (and could very well be Rancid) and Death Grips playing the theme music. It’s kind of like an episode of How To Make It In America just with Russian guys in it instead of some streetwise kids from the five boroughs:
But yeah the main thing about that video is that those ice lollies look great right? So yeah hopefully the 80’s horror characters ice lollies will actually get made pretty soon and we’ll be able to eat them and let you know if the flavours are as gross as they sound. In the meantime check out this gallery of horror character ice lollies and let us know which one of these flavours you think you would be actually able to stomach: