MOVEMBER’S MOUSTACHE MADNESS

I can think of no more fitting way to celebrate the end to Halloween madness, and compulsory drinking, than to honour that furry caterpillar on your top lip. This is where Movember comes in, for those who are completely unaware of this hairy celebration of manhood, Movember is an event where the male world grows out a big hairy beast on their top lip for charity, or manliness if you are too cheap to help out others.

It’s actually all for a good cause too, not just an excuse to get out that tiny comb. Prostate Cancer is something that can affect everybody’s life, including women, not directly mind but you’ll all know someone who’s packing a prostate. Movember is here to raise awareness in a humour coated way, you sign up and become a ‘Mo-Bro’ and then groom all that facial hair into a shining future for male backsides everywhere.

To honour Movember 1st 2011, I’ve compiled a collection of what can only be known as the most impressive moustaches the world has ever known, or you know the ones I could find…

Alright, so its being held up by wires from his hat, but thats one badass handlebar he’s got there, the hair is longer than the hair on his head! Although, looking that that man’s neckline, it looks like he may be made of carpet anyway.

This man looks like he’s got a god damn squid on his face. I know part of that wispy white goodness is chin hair, and thus doesn’t count as a moustache, but come on look at it! He must get all the women.

Again this is another man who thinks its fine to make obscene curls from your facial hair, as well as from your sideburns and chin fluff. It’s his eyes I don’t like, they say something fierce, and that dab hand he’s got going on. Run away from him if you ever come into contact with this moose faced mustachio.

Nothing quite screams authority in the army than a moustache, and this man must have some authority. Although on closer inspection he looks a bit like Saddam Hussein if you shaved that lip warmer off, those red curls and wisps of hair could make any Brillo pad jealous.

Ah Mr. Dali, no moustache compilation would be complete without his whimsical expressions gracing the page. Here he is sporting the double point ‘tache, an impressive look for many. Its good to know he even managed to coin his own moustache style, a true innovator.

Now, it may not be curly, it may not be a squid or have bells and whistles on it, but look at that magnificent specimen. You tell me that Sam Elliot’s beautiful hairy beast isn’t the best god damn thing you’ve seen in your life. It looks like it’s going to get up and walk off his face.

Now this may be hard to believe, but I’m actually not that much of a fan of the moustache. I find them somewhat creepy, and hold true in my belief that men who choose to grow one (outside of Movember) are insane and probably also wear bow ties – another clear sign of insanity – so this post has been somewhat torturous. However I will leave you with Tom Selleck and the greatest style of moustache to have ever graced the earth:

The Smut Tache.

If you want to give to the cause of Movember, head on over to their website and help those with Prostate Cancer.