LIFE

Witness How These 4 Men And Women Have Taken Streaking To A Whole New Level

Streaker

We salute you.

From the ‘beautiful game’ (football) to amateur pocket billiards (you might want to look that up), there is a sport out there for everyone. But besides the nail-biting rivalries, incredible acts of athleticism and big budget fanfare, there’s something in sports that provides more entertainment than anything else: the streakers.

Without further ado, let’s celebrate these bollock naked heroes by checking out the four greatest streaks (of the naked variety) ever.

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The Superbowl 2008 Shape Shifter

During a tense 2008 Superbowl final between the New York Giants and the New England Patriots, this guy – unofficially known as the Shape Shifter – decided that a welcome distraction was needed.

Of course, a romantic gesture on the big screen or a Mexican wave doesn’t quite cut it at The Superbowl, so the Shape Shifter, being the bold hearted man that he is, jogged onto the pitch disguised as a referee, before stripping down to his wedding tackle (well, apart from his socks, sneakers an egg shaped cock cover) and tearing into a series of dance moves that the cheerleaders could only dream of pulling off. Prepare for some serious arse crack (and not the moreish kind, as Peep Show’s Super Hans would say).

Goal Scoring Streaking Scorcher

It’s unclear exactly which professional football game this is, but when you think about it: who cares? Not only is the Streaking scorcher young, blonde, attractive (or at least she was – who knows what she looks like now) and willing to bare all in front thousands of beered-up football fans, she also has supreme goal scoring skills.

Just when you think the ball is being crossed to the striker, up pops a chick in a flesh and muff coloured football kit ready to pounce – and then she scores what was most certainly the most impressive goal of the game – although her celebration is probably the highlight. A streak of epic proportions and for the fans, well worth the entry fee.

The Photo Finish Phallus Flopper

What are the odds? In one of the world’s most comical streaks, this spritely course invader pulls off a sprint that Usain Bolt would be proud of, before taking a tremendous bollock plant right at the finish line.

Perhaps he’s had a good few sherbets before deciding to let his phallus roam free alongside a dozen horses; maybe he wanted to embarrass the jockeys with his superior manhood, or perhaps he put a bet on himself to win the race, knowing how insane the odds would be. Either way, you can’t help but laugh – or wonder if his bollocks are still intact after that fall.

The Lord’s Nipple Leaper

The most impressive thing about this streak, apart from the bush and the beautifully executed explicit cartwheels, is the fact that this streak helped this woman launch her musical career.

This footage is taken from Lord’s Cricket Ground in 1989 and shows singer-songwriter Sheila Nicholls running billy bollock naked across the pitch in an airy Kate Bush like fashion. Maximum points for publicity – and watch the security guard, he doesn’t know where to put his hands.

Streaking is an artform that has spiced up sporting events for decades and long may it continue – afterall there’s nothing wrong with a bit of good old fashioned nudity from time to time.

Oh, and…

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