If you want to know how to do the perfect poo then don’t watch this video – check this one out instead – because although this one is hella impressive it’s about as far away from the perfect poo as you can get. I mean the woman does it standing up and it’s not even in a toilet, you know what I’m saying?

Apparently it goes down in a busy hospital in Istanbul and the video features a woman shuffling up to a wall before tensing up and leaving a giant turd on the floor. The video is a bit grainy so it’s not 100% clear that it’s a turd, but the fact that she shuffles away as quickly as she got there, tenses real hard and the reaction of other people when they notice it on the floor – they do not look happy – all serve as evidence of its true nature.

Grim. Remind me to never get so ill in Turkey that I have to visit a hospital. At least it looks better than this Russian hospital though I suppose.

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https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SoynRvHr3Ps