As we move towards this festive season of good will, it’s easy to forget the real meaning of Christmas. It’s called CHRISTmas for a reason. Here’s a recap: a little tiny baby was born in the middle east underneath a star. Some wise gypsies found him and brought him some unusable gifts. There was a camel and a couple of lamas in the shed with them. Later in life this baby became a carpenter and ate loads of bread and fish. After that he went water skiing and kissed a leper. He also befriended a hooker, learnt how to make wine using basic ingredients and joined a gang.
The end of the story is a bit sad though. He got lost in the desert for ages and got really peckish, the devil was pestering him and everything and it was horrible. But that’s not the worst bit. The Romans thought he was in a weird UFO death cult so they nailed him to a tree.
It’s quite a sad story really? So to lighten the Christmas mood I thought I’d present to you some rotten Jesus tattoos. If these don’t cheer you up and put a smile on Jesus’ face, nothing will.
1) Lazy Effort Jesus
2) Smudge Jesus
This one is a real mess. It’s basically just a mass of smudges placed indelicately among a more sparse selection of smudges.
3) Crack Pipe Jesus
It looks like the one below started out pretty well. Quite accurate, nice shading and all that. Maybe the artist should have saved the celebratory toot on the crack pipe until after he’d completed the left side of Jesus’ face.
4) Evil Jesus
An evil Jesus tattoo on your throat? No thanks.
5) Live Band Lord
In this case, it’s not an image of our dear Lord that’s laughable. Imagine being so impressed with yourself for seeing Nickleback that you’d have it indelibly marked on your skin. Go on, imagine it.
6) Slap Head Jesus
Bad proportion control here. Massive slap head and a tiny chin. Bit like me actually?