I was watching the BBC coverage of Glastonbury – you know it was Sunday night, I’d been getting text messages all week like ‘my face is making bread,’ and ‘of joy’ so I was feeling a bit left out and wanted to get involved OK? – and of course I had to watch Beyonce’s set and it was pretty good and really fun. My favourite part was definitely the Destiny’s Child medley although they probably should have included Bill Bills Bills, I mean come on, it’s a hit right?
Anyway after the Beyonce set, it cut to Zane Lowe and Lauren Laverne hanging out in that Garden bit where they introduce everything and Lauren Laverne went on this stupid rant about pop music and Beyonce that just didn’t really go anywhere or make any sense at all. It was great because all the way through it Zane Lowe was standing there looking like he understood and agreeing with her, but you could kind of tell that he didn’t understand it at all. Even Zane Lowe didn’t understand what she was saying and Zane Lowe always seems to know everything, you know? It was that retarded.. My favourite part was probably when she said something particularly stupid and Zane Lowe just kind of blinked loads like he couldn’t believe that this was really happening. Then, when Lauren Laverne had finally stopped talking she turned to Zane Lowe and asked him ‘What did you think?’ to which Zane Lowe replied ‘I went to watch Queen’s of The Stone Age’. Here’s a video of that, sorry for the shitty quality but it’s the only one that’s up right now, I’ll try and update it later to a better one. Zane Lowe is great in it.
Now to me, I thought that Zane Lowe was just taking the piss out of Lauren Laverne’s stupidity and not really dissing Beyonce or anything and also kind of re-establishing his reputation as the cool edgy Zane Lowe, you know, the champion of all hip music. Traditionally, I never really liked Zane Lowe and the way he was always so excited about everything and talks so much and uses a lot of unnecessary words, but I thought that was a pretty neat line. I was like ‘way to go Zane Lowe, pretty funny.’ I didn’t really think any more of it. Unfortunately for Zane Lowe though, it seemed like Beyonce – or Jay Z – did.
Later on Zane Lowe and Lauren Laverne came back on and told the viewers that they might be interviewing Beyonce soon. Wow. Then in the next segment, Zane Lowe is squriming around saying he can’t stay to interview Beyonce ‘because he has to get home to see his kids.’ Really Zane Lowe, you’re missing out on interviewing Beyonce because you need to get home to see your kids? At like 3am on a Sunday night? This is the worst excuse ever right? Zane Lowe made his excuses, which included saying repeatedly how awesome he thought the Beyonce set was and then handed the reins over to Jo Wiley.
Now, Twitter is going crazy with rumours that Zane Lowe had actually been sent home by the BBC and is due to be fired in the morning? Some of the highlights included: ‘So Beyonce has had Zane Lowe sacked. Ahhh Ships. Think before you speak young man. Think he forgot who runs the world lol,’ ‘Zane Lowe doesn’t even want to stay and interview beyonce!!! Lmao who else would turn it down.. He a legend in my eyes.. #familyfirst,’ ‘Zane Lowe could be in government after his Beyonce u-turn. Oddly enough I think they might have a spot opening up for an advisor. #glasto,’ I love how Zane Lowe can spark more emotion in seconds thanBeyonce did in an hour or so,’ and ‘Zane Lowe just disrespected Beyonce whos married to JAY Z! You fool. You can’t save yourself!’
Surely this can’t be true? Well, the firing part anyway, as it seems pretty clear he was taken off the interview. See ya later Zane Lowe! But would Beyonce/Jay Z really have him fired? Was what he said really that bad? Will this mean the end of Zane Lowe’s hottest record in the world right now feature? Will Zane Lowe’s kids be awake when he gets home? Who knows what’s gonna happen? I just thought it was funny to stick up the videos of him. Here’s a summary of the whole thing, including Zane Lowe’s great excuse for leaving the interview:
As much as I don’t like Zane Lowe though (even despite his best efforts tonight), I probably would have preferred to see him interview Beyonce instead of those twats Jo Wiley and Lauren Laverne. It was kind of embarrassing how much they loved Beyonce. Although that other dude rinsed them for it afterwards at least.
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