Affairs are pretty common these days. 90% of the time when a guy says he’s off on a business trip, the chances are, he’s actually off to fuck his sidebitch.
The likelihood of that increases considerably if the man in question is a builder. Now, I’m not stereotyping builders at all. Alright, well I probably am a bit, but they do generally tend to have that I’m-a-lad-and-I’ll-stick-my-dick-in-everything-that-moves-apart-from-my-cement-mixer-because-I-need-that-to-build-shit attitude.
What’s more, unless he’s a pretty good builder it seems fairly obvious no-one’s going to want him to fly half way across the world for a ‘business meeting’.
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So I’m not sure if it was this that gave it away when Craig Arnold (the dirty bastard) – a builder from Nuneaton – told his wife, Laura, that he was off to New York on business. Or whether it was the message on his phone she found from a woman in New York promising him a ‘sexy welcome’ when he arrived.
But either way, Laura wasn’t about to sit back while her husband decimated their marriage. So she decided to get revenge, and in the only way she deemed suitable: by selling the couple’s house behind Craig’s back, including all of his treasured possessions in the agreement as ‘fixtures and fittings’.
Not only that, but she managed to complete the whole process in the 2 weeks that Craig was ‘away on business’, AKA getting his little cheating winkle wet in East Coast Poonani.
Laura was able to pull this off because her parents had helped her out with the mortgage, meaning Craig didn’t need to consent or even be involved in the process at all. Seems a bit fucked up if you ask me but hey, I’m no lawyer. She described the situation in a recent interview:
Things aren’t great between us at the moment.
I could do it because my parents came up with the deposit for our home and when we struggled with the mortgage, they came in.
Personally, I reckon this is a bit of an extreme reaction that doesn’t benefit either of them massively. That’s her home as well, after all, so it just seems like they both lose out. Although I guess on the flip side; the home would have just been full of sour memories if Laura had stayed there alone. Plus she just got a huge pay cheque for the property that Craig probably paid quite a lot for in mortgage repayments so that can’t feel too bad.
Craig was understandably pretty confused when he came home and couldn’t open the door to his house after the new owners had changed the locks. He described the moment that he realised what Laura had done:
All the lights were on and the TV was blaring.
I remember thinking it was really out of character for Laura to be up past 11pm. I had no idea what on earth was going on.
At this point I was seriously freaked out, jet lagged and frantic – I started banging on the door and shouting Laura’s name — but was greeted instead by what looked like a 21-year-old hippie.
I noticed all Laura’s furniture was gone, but the chairs and tables I’d inherited from my late father, plus my set of golf clubs and vintage radio – which Laura always hated – was sitting on the kitchen table in all its glory.
She’d included my most prized possessions in the ‘fixtures and fittings’. I was gutted. I still can’t get my head around how she did this in the space of a two week holiday.
He sounds pretty devastated, which is probably exactly what Laura was hoping for. And you can’t blame her, after all he hurt her first.
Chin up, Craig. You can always build a new house.
For more crazy reactions to affairs (this time a fake one) click here.