65-year-old woman/sorcerer Jemima Packington from Bath claims that she can predict the future by throwing asparagus stalks into the air and then reading them when they land.
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Crazy, right? Well yeah it’s crazy, but let’s don’t dismiss Jemima outright, because here’s a bunch of things she’s managed to predict correctly thus far thanks to her asparagus-reading technique:
– Boris Johnson would become leader of the Tory party – correct.
– Harry and Meghan would leave the UK – correct.
– England would win the Cricket World Cup in 2019 – correct.
– Thomas Cook and Mothercare to close down – correct.
– Brexit will happen – correct.
Well? Are you a believer in the power of asparagus yet? Well if not maybe Jemima’s predictions for 2021 will sway you once they inevitably come true. Here’s what the magic asparagus tells her is going down this year:
– Vaccines will bring a ‘new normal’ in June 2021, although not a return to the pre-pandemic days.
– People will become kinder and more tolerant due to living through the pandemic.
– At least 2 divorces in the Royal Family!
– Prince Harry will return to England on his own in March (could this be related to the aforementioned divorces?!)
– The Queen will make a ‘big announcement’ in June.
– There will be NO second Scottish independence referendum.
Obviously the one that stands out there is Prince Harry returning to England in March 2021. On his own no less! Can you imagine if that actually happens? It would be confirmation that asparagus stalks really can tell the future. Yeah OK some of the other predictions seem fairly vague or predictable, but the Prince Harry one is specific enough for Jemima to really be putting her reputation on the line here.
Jemima told The Mirror:
I’m able to interpret the patterns left by the asparagus.
When I cast the asparagus, it creates patterns and it is the patterns I interpret.
So yeah, I don’t know about you but I’m fully on board with this lady’s predictions and fully expect them all to come true. ‘Welcome back Harry’ in advance! Probably best we lock Jemima up in a room with all the asparagus she needs so we can all rest assured we know exactly what’s coming. Also so she can stop bothering people.
For the new animated series from the writers of Family Guy based on the Royal Family, click HERE.