The search for love can be pretty goddamn tricky, but some people seem happy to just give up and marry inanimate objects instead of persisting with real human relationships.
The latest one of these weirdos – and we’ve featured a few over the years – is 21 year old Felicity Kadlec from Massachusetts, who has revealed that she’s married an inanimate zombie doll named Kelly Rossi who she’s known she was 13 and reckons is 37 years of age. The ceremony took place in Tiverton, Rhode Island and set Felicity back $500.
Four of her family friends attended as well as eight of Kelly’s other doll friends. Kelly dressed in a tuxedo for the event but didn’t bother washing his face or sorting out any of the other crap over his tuxedo/face. You think she might have made the effort eh?
Felicity wasn’t bothered though, saying that it was the happiest day of her life after she married the love of her life. Her words not mine:
Kelly is the most valuable one! She’s been my world for years. Our wedding ceremony was beautiful and perfect – exactly the way I dreamed it would have been.
I made sure that the whole wedding was done properly so it would be as official as possible, and we consummated the marriage afterwards.
Kelly was the groom as she takes the male role in our relationship, she is a tom boy so wore a suit – I feel she was most comfortable as the groom.
Despite having been in a relationship with Kelly for four years, getting married to her has made me feel so much closer to her, both emotionally and intimately.
I married Kelly but only because I accept her for who she is, I look past her bloody face and I don’t mind her not having a jaw.
I mean I’m kinda icked out about that part where she says the consummated the relationship. How in the hell did they do that? Did Felicity just rub one of Kelly’s hands on her vagina or something? Don’t even really want to think about that.
The whole thing is just completely weird though and kinda crazy that her family and friends are even letting this happen. Surely someone must realise that she’s literally mental and that the idea of her marrying a doll and going to live with it is literally the definition of insanity. I hope someone helps her out, even if it is a bit upsetting for her. It’s not healthy to be married to a doll.
For more weird marriage, check out this woman who wants to get married to her duvet. Insanity.