It’s been a while since I’ve been to a Toby Carvery, but you pretty much know what you’re going to get when you rock up there – a carvery that’s probably about as good as the price you pay for it. No frills.

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With that in mind, I find it kind of bizarre that anyone would order anything other than a carvery when visiting the Toby Carvery, but Irayna Coleman-Green thought it would be a good idea to order a hot dog for her son. Bad move as she ended up getting one of the longest and weirdest looking sausages of all time placed in the tiniest roll of all time, leading her to remark that it looked a bit like E.T.’s finger:

The bread was about three inches long and it was for a foot-long sausage. It was a bit of a shock.

We eventually got a little bit more bread but it wasn’t the whole size of a hot dog.

Maybe the chefs spend their time doing the carvery stuff, it was disappointing.

It looked like E.T.’s finger in a bit of a bread. It was a bit of a joke really.

Five of us had gone out for lunch – me, my husband and the three kids.

We’d gone to this Ninja Warrior indoor obstacle course in Watford and we went there [Toby Carvery] because it was nearby.

Meals at other branches have been fine, there’s been no problem at all, the kids love it and it’s just easy.

Me, my husband and the other two kids had the carvery but Oscar decided he wanted something different so he chose that because it sounded quite nice.

We’d all gone and got our carvery by the time we sat down and his had come up.

We asked ‘have you got more bread?’ and we were told ‘that’s how it comes’.

We were told ‘that’s how they serve it’ and I said ‘no it’s not, it’s supposed to be a hot dog’.

She went back again and she came back out with a little bit more dry bread. He was starving because he’d been running round all day.

I said ‘what about the salad? This isn’t really a side salad, this looks like the kids’ carrot stick starter’. There was no lettuce.

She went back again and said ‘no that’s the side salad, that how it comes but you’re more than welcome to have some vegetables’. He ended up getting some macaroni cheese as extra on his plate.

We’d already sat down and he decided to eat it because he was starving from all the running around.

We had our big plates of food and he was looking at what he’d been given, so he was disappointed.

I wouldn’t go back to that Toby Carvery. We’ve never had an experience like that at the other branches.

He won’t be ordered that hot dog in future, I think it’ll just be the carvery.

Ok a couple of things here. Firstly, Oscar/Irayna are clearly both idiots for ordering a hot dog at a Toby Carvery because it ‘looks good’. How does a hot dog even ‘look good’ on a menu and why would you get one when you can just get the carvery? Majorly rogue decision and it seems like they paid for it with the major distress it seemed to cause them.

Secondly, why is Irayna so mad about this hot dog that she’s going to the newspapers about it? Yeah, I get that there wasn’t enough bread and it’s not a hot dog in the traditional sense, but surely she should just be happy that she’s getting more than double her money’s worth because the sausage is so massive? Insane overreaction from the woman. Just enjoy it sister. Seriously.

For more of the same, check out this study that suggests every hot dog you eat takes 35 minutes off your life. What?