CHIRPSES

Woman Files Divorce From Her Husband Because His Dick Is Too Big

This has been a great week for guys with average-sized penises.

What a great week it’s been for guys with average-sized penises. First science dropped the bombshell of the official worldwide dick size average (I think we were all happy with that result), and now you’ve got this young housewife from Nigeria named Aisha Dannupawa who is divorcing her husband Ali Maizinari after just a week because his penis is simply too huge.

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On the first time they had sex after marriage:

We had sex but the experience was a nightmare. Instead of enjoying the sex, it turned out to be something else, because his penis was too big.

On the second time, after she took some medication to help the pain:

Two days later, we had sex again, but the experience was too much to bear. It was then I knew that I could not continue the marriage because of the size of his penis.

No word on how big Ali’s cock actually is, which you’d think is a key fact you’d want to learn in this story. Cheers for that Metro — and people say we’re not real journalists?

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