A 45 year old woman named Pamela Downs from Kingsport, Tennessee has claimed that she only started counterfeiting money because she read online that Barack Obama had passed a law making it legal to do so. Unfortunately that excuse didn’t work (no shit) and she was charged with criminal simulation and counterfeiting. She is yet to be sentenced.
Downs was arrested at a local grocery store in the area where she attempted to use a counterfeit $5 bill. The clerk immediately noticed that it was shoddy because of how badly it was constructed – it was clearly printed on computer paper and was glued together and falling apart slightly – and so decided to call the cops on her, which was a bit of a pussy move really considering.
Surprisingly – I guess the cops have nothing to do in Kingsport City – the cops showed up and began questioning Miss Downs. She said that she had received the bill a few days ago from a gas station in somewhere called Bristol and hadn’t suspected it of being fake as it had been folded over.
Unfortunately for her though this cop was one smart cookie and asked to see inside her purse, in which he discovered another $100 counterfeit note – which was printed in black and white and glued together so the back was upside down – and some Walmart receipts which showed that Downs had recently bought a printer and copy paper. Busted.
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The cop arrested Downs on the spot and too her in for questioning. At the time she reportedly offered the following incredible quote: ‘I don’t give a ****, all these other bitches get to print money so I can too.’ Wow – what does that even mean? What other bitches are printing money!?
Her apartment was also searched where they found equipment to counterfeit money – including scissors, glue and the aforementioned printer and copy paper – which were seized and put into evidence. It was estimated that there was between $30,000 and $50,000 worth of counterfeit money in the apartment, which implies that Downs had been very busy.
Downs is still playing the Barack Obama card in her defence and looks to do so as she goes to trial. We doubt it’s going to hold up though – especially after another incident where she used a fake $100 bill at a restaurant a couple of months previous was uncovered – maybe she can start a sweet counterfeiting ring from inside her jail cell though.
It’s crazy that she got busted for a $5 bill though. It just goes to show that you should take the appropriate amount of care in every part of a criminal plan, no matter how big or small it is to the whole scheme. It sounds like she had been pulling this scam for a while, but her current counterfeit attempts were really lazy – I mean it sounded almost as ridiculous as those notes with a picture of Kim Jong-un on them that started circulating a few months ago. Never gonna work.
Also for what it’s worth, you should really be wary of grocery store employees who take their jobs way too seriously.