Fvcking scratch cards. I hate the things. I hate them but I can’t ever resist buying them. ‘Oh yeah, give me a £2 scratch card as well please mate’ is what I usually find myself saying before I pay for my dinner in Tesco. Only yesterday I was FORCED to buy one of these stupid things while I was buying some beers in Spar. The total amount for my purchases came to £4.20 and it’s a minimum £5 spend on your card, so I HAD to buy a £1 scratch card, what else would I have bought? Anyway, I lost. I always fvcking lose on these things. I used to win all the time and now I lose all the time. They’ve definitely done something and basically made it so fvck all of these things are ever winners. Bastards.
But here’s a dude who’s had a bit more luck than myself. This guy was involved in an accident at work which totally fucked him up. He was put on heart medication which he had an allergic reaction to and was near death. The doctors were going to pull the plug on him but luckily they didn’t. Soon after his recovery he got engaged, got a new job and won a car on a scratch card, so a local TV crew thought this would make a good story and filmed him re-enacting buying his winning scratch card, and guess what, he only went and won the mother fuckin’ JACKPOT live on TV BABY!
What a lucky fvcking jammy dodger. It goes to show kids, fvck school, fvck everything, life is a game of chance and if you roll right and hit doubles you’re in for a good time.
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