LIFE

TV Fart Part IV: Embarrassing Bodies

Embarrassing Bodies is sick. Find out why….

That would be abnormal behaviour. After having their stinking ailments tended to I would like to hope that all the patients appearing on the show would be subject to a lengthy and thorough psychological evaluation. As a matter of urgency.

I do understand how it could be argued that the embarrassed parties are not the ones appearing before me splayed out like appalling starfish in front of my Lancashire hotpot. They are, in fact those at home sitting, sweating, silent, upon a squishy throne of vascular hernia. Suffering alone in the gloom, too afraid to divulge their anguish to even their nearest and dearest, never mind their sniggering little GPs. I am not an unreasonable man, I can see how this could be asserted and, in truth, I don’t really think there is any truly sinister agenda to the show. Nothing new anyway; it’s just an exploitation of our perverse predilection for prurience. Or voyeurism for the less twattish amongst you.

Lancashire Hotpot

Having said that, I don’t really like how it masquerades as a serious and informative medical aid. As if it helps the anxious weaklings, cowering at home, to self diagnose should they see familiar symptoms. I’m not fucking having it. If I were to wake tomorrow morning to find my arse was oozing pus or my knob had disappeared or my tits had turned inside out, I would seek urgent and immediate professional attention. I would make my way without hesitation to the GP’s surgery, maybe even A+E, as fast as conceivably possible. I wouldn’t need to see someone else’s hairy crevice, blinking in the spotlight; spread wide in shimmering high definition, to persuade me that there was something wrong. If you are the kind of person that would then you deserve yourself.

Butt

Anyway, I don’t really have a great deal more to say about Embarrassing Bodies. I don’t suppose it warrants any more consideration does it? It’s just telly in the end.

So there it is. I’m not doing this anymore. I’ve got a job. I know this bombshell must be excruciating but I’m sure you’ll find something to do. Maybe there’s something on Dave…

See ya round tubular dudes.

☛ More Bodies: Girl Eats 5,000 Calories A Day In Bid To Become BBW Superstar


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