I hope you lot have had a good week since the last week of weird news went live. I’ve had a monotone week to be honest, but these following “news” items have slightly brightened my otherwise beige landscape. I can only hope they do the same for you my friends…

Oh, before I get going, the picture above is an X-ray from the luckiest man in the world. James Valentine got a chainsaw blade to the neck whilst trimming a tree this week and didn’t die.

5) Feng Shui Fiasco

There’s a wonderful sense of dark completion about this story. A feng shui master – Zheng Guoqiang – was employed to find a good place to bury the rich and recently deceased De Meng. Guoqiang isn’t just a standard feng shui dude, he is the feng shui dude with a bunch of high-profile celeb customers.

He takes his role seriously, as you would if you got paid like a Lord for it. So after an exhaustive search for the perfect final resting place he declared that the vibrations and location of this particular spot were perfect for a burial.

They turned out to be famous last words, moments later a massive mud-slide pounced and killed him and six others. So it’s not a funny story per se because innocent people died, it’s just sort of ironic and let’s be honest, it is a little bit jokes too isn’t it?

☛ Read Next: Why I Hate Hippies