FOOTBALL

Shitty Parent Teaches Three Year Old Kid To Call Robin Van Persie A C**T

Robin Van Persie

If you’re an Arsenal fan bitter about RVP’s exit this summer, what’s the best way to get back at him? Probably to teach your three year old son to call him a c**t right? It’s perfect. Take that RVP.

Robin Van Persie

I don’t really know whether to laugh or cry at this next video. I think if you’re an Arsenal fan then you’re probably gonna be pretty pissed that your best player left for one of your biggest rivals (kinda, but I mean every time Arsenal and Man United play each other now you kinda figure Arsenal are gonna get spanked) but I mean that isn’t really an excuse to teach your kid to sing songs about him calling him a cunt.

I don’t think I had even heard cunt until I was about 9, I was trying to remember the first time I heard it but I can’t, which is a real bummer because I bet it’s a real good story, like the first time I ever heard fvck. I was playing on some adventure playground near my house and someone had written ‘I want to fvck’ on one of the forts so I went over to my dad and asked him what fvck meant, and he just kinda grunted something and told me not to say it ever again. That’s almost as funny as the time I asked my mom what a prostitute was, but that’s another story.

So yeah, this Arsenal fan thought the best way to get RVP back for his savage betrayal was to upload a video of his kid singing ‘you’re a cunt, Robin, you’re a cunt, you’re a cunt Robin, you’re a cunt, you’re a cunt Robin, you’re a cunt, oh Robin you’re a cunt.’ When I read the title of the post I thought that it was probably gonna be in the crowd at the match on Saturday and everyone would be singing along which wouldn’ t be so bad, but nah, this guy just taught the kid to sing it in his living room, probably on a Tuesday afternoon when he had nothing better to do because he didn’t have a job and he had run out of all of his benefit money and was waiting until Thursday for his next hit.

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If anything his adaptation of an old classic for these new lyrics should be applauded right? Or perhaps his ability to teach really hard words that little kids have never heard effectively? This guy’s a bonafide hero and should probably be granted a free season ticket at Arsenal or maybe they should bring him in to teach other kids in the family stand to sing that song for RVP’s return. Or maybe he should get a job as a local scout leader or something, such is his ability as a role model to young children? Or maybe his kids (he must have more than one, no way does this dude know how to bag up) SHOULD BE TAKEN AWAY FROM HIM FOREVER?

It’s an especially cute rendition because both of them are singing together in the video but before he drops the C-bomb the dad stops singing so you can hear that this 3 year old kid definitely knows what he’s saying. I should be appalled but he’s just such a cute whippersnapper I don’t know how to feel.

The dad also gets him to sing a song alluding to when RVP was accused of rape (but found not guilty) back in 2005 but I don’t think that’s AS bad because the kid doesn’t really know what he’s singing about. Still, I hate to be pessimistic/elitist but I feel like it’s unlikely that this kid is gonna grow up to do anything except maybe teach his kid gross songs about Jack Wilshere leaving Arsenal for Man United. He might just be old enough to have had a kid by the time that’s happened.

Even despite the kid’s upbringing it was pretty unlikely he was gonna turn out as anything other than a chav because his name is Kye, and well, when have you ever met a guy called Kye who wasn’t wearing Burberry and driving a Nova whilst blaring out shitty drum n bass whilst smoking skunk? Exactly.

Anyway here’s the video. Jesus wept:

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[yframe url=’http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=c7OyNkOda3g’]

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