NOT THE NEWS

This Week’s Top 4 Non-News Items

What non-news guff has the Daily Mail vomited onto the world wide web of woe this week?

Here’s our fifteenth weekly installment of stiflingly mediocre non-news. I’ve pored over the Daily Mail online’s latest bought of verbal squits to bring you the most emotionally neutral stories I could find. It’s all balls with a capital B-A-L-L-S. But someone’s obviously clicking on this tripe: they must be found and hanged reeducated.

Like a moth willingly ending its life on a roasting hot non-news coated light-bulb, I have given myself up so that you don’t have to. Kind of like Jesus in many ways.

Now, put out your fag whilst reading these headlines in case you fall asleep. Let’s start with a couple of ladies who are in some way connected to the Kardashians shall we? Just for old times sake:

1) All The Ks

Non-News  Kendall and Kylie Jenner.jpg

Website: Daily Mail Online

Headline: Anything Kendall can do… Kylie Jenner copies her sister’s pose for a New Year selfie

More Fitting Headline: Young Girls Takes Selfies And Put Them Online

Summary: I’m assuming there is some kind of rivalry between these two sisters, I mean they are sisters after all. But the Daily Mail obviously can’t find any evidence for it so they’ve had to desperately make something up. The two pictures above are a little bit similar but only really because they are pictures of young, slim, dark-haired girls with a window next to them.

According to the Daily Mail Kendall took the initial picture and then just a day later Kylie “copied” her. NON-NEWS at its purest.

Quote To Note: “The youngest Kardashian-Jenner child completed her look with her signature pout using mauve coloured lipstick” – signature pout? Give me a break.

Favourite Reader’s Comments: “Beautiful” or on the other side of the tracks “Maybe she should pick up a book”.

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