CHIRPSES

The Real ‘The Valleys’

The Valleys

Am I exploiting my homeland for the sake of views in a way no better than MTV? Yes. Meet the real ‘The Valleys’, there’s no place like home.

The Valleys

For those of you unfamiliar with the Spotted (insert your shithole here) Facebook pages, it goes roughly like this: the main idea, and initial principle, behind these Spotted pages is the endearing intention of creating an anonymous outlet for those glances, and fancies, that you can’t quite bring yourself to say out loud in person. For example you’re sitting on a train during your usual commute and, as you do every train journey, you fall in love for the sixth time that day with a stranger that caught your eye, or you fall in lust, whatever. Anyway, so you get on Facebook, find your local Spotted and message the admin for them to express your undying love to that fittie near the toilets, swept up in the delusional belief that this will, in some way, amount to anything. I mean, it’s sweet.

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That is the honourable intention that every Spotted page left the womb with, hoping to see it through and bring the people of your local area connection together. However, as is to be expected of people in general, and especially of people as filtered through the anonymity of the internet, things quickly took a turn for the worse.

My first experience with Spotted was that of Aberystwyth (have a nose if you like), what with me being a student there, and it started out fine, if considerably more vocally horny than perhaps Spotted’s initial designs for its use. Add in general rants about specific people or random members of the public, and you’ve got your standard mindless entertainment fodder to pass the time. The trend spread pretty quickly though, and Spotted’s started dotting up everywhere.

It was with great pleasure that I discovered someone had set up a Spotted Rhondda Valleys (two in fact, and counting), being home to my hometown. Now, there’s been a lot of bad press about The Valleys given MTV’s vapid misrepresentation of the place with cretin that aren’t even from there, so it’s really nice to see us Valley-ites get an honest to God representation of ourselves fresh from our own mouths. So it is with great pleasure I introduce ‘The Real Valleys’ via Spotted Rhondda Valleys.

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Full to the brim with angry, angry Facebookers calling each other out on their level of scumbag. Whether that scumbag potential comes from horsing lines of mephedrone, self-inflation with steroids, ethnicity changing suntans, sticking it in everything in sight, getting stuck in by everything in sight, being a smackhead, having children, being a cokehead and/or alcoholic, letting your dog shit anywhere, not being able to spell or just threatening physical violence anonymously, it’s all here, and it’s enough to make me homesick.

Am I exploiting my homeland for the sake of views in a way no better than MTV? Yes.

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However, it’s my valley to exploit and there’s no place like home. Why not try and find your local Spotted too?

Spotted The Real Valleys


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