We love featuring terrible tattoos here on Sick Chirpse, and we often say this might be the worst one we’ve featured yet but it’s usually down to the design being completely crap rather than the content of the tattoo being completely cringeworthy.
This guy is called Bradley Holman and he absolutely loves Nando’s. Now, Nando’s is OK but it’s hardly the best restaurant in the UK, is it? It’s just like a posh version of McDonalds for chicken where the food gets brought to your table but you still have to go and order it at a desk so they charge you a couple of quid more. I can see why that’s an attractive option sure, but I think it’s a weird concept for people to actually fall in love with it, especially considering there’s literally 1000s of other restaurants to check out in this country.
More Tattoos: This Is Why Retards Shouldn’t Tattoo
Bradley Holman isn’t interested in that though. Every time he goes out for food, it’s always to Nando’s and he always gets the same meal – an extra-hot whole chicken to myself, garlic bread and a bottomless drink. This makes me think more that Bradley is a colossal bore more than anything else but hey if it ain’t broke don’t fix it I guess? Why go for wing roulette or a chicken burger when there’s a very real danger that it may not be as good as the extra-hot whole chicken to myself, garlic bread and a bottomless drink combo? I can understand why that’s a risk he might not be willing to take.
This isn’t just a rare treat for Bradley either, because he reckons he spends at least £1500 a year in Nando’s. I’m guessing his meal costs around £20 from a quick look at the Nando’s menu, so that means he goes roughly 60 times a year, which I’m sure you can work out is just over once a week. I guess those extra 8 times are for special occasions. But seriously, that’s a lot of Nando’s and I can’t really understand how someone can like something so much? I have a lot of favourite foods but I don’t think I eat any of them anywhere near that much.
So what better way to illustrate and emphasise his love for the Nando’s brand than by getting the logo tattooed on his buttcheek? As I’m sure you’ll agree, there is literally no better way than that, right? So that’s exactly what he did, when he was hungover on holiday in Crete and craving a Nando’s last summer. He just went straight to the tattoo parlour and got it done, like the absolute lad he is. You can bet he was probably still steaming at the time too.
More Nando’s: Banned Nando’s Advert Is The Height Of Bad Taste
Now, he’s a major celebrity in his hometown and is often referred to as Nando’s and asked to get his tattoo out to show people. Unfortunately though it doesn’t seem to have led him to his ultimate goal, which is a Nando’s black card – the legendary card given out to celebrities and footballers which guarantees them free chicken at any Nando’s for the rest of their life.
Explaining the situation, Bradley said: ‘I asked if they rewarded customer loyalty like this and they snubbed my questions saying they don’t give any free meals or vouchers to customers. I’m really angry about it. Surely I’m due something for my commitment to Nando’s. I just wanted a small token so I was gutted when they gave me nothing.’
Oh AWAH, cry me a river and stop being so butthurt because your tattoos sore and Nando’s aren’t stupid enough to give someone who spends £1500 a year in their restaurants and willing admits to being addicted to it free lifetime meals. Are you dumb bruv? They would probably go out of business because you would be in there every day. They would probably have to close early because you had eaten literally all of their chicken, you fat fuck.
One more great fact about Bradley Holman is that he also loves taking girls on first dates to Nando’s (duhh), saying that he ‘doesn’t care if they don’t like his tattoo.’ He says that some of them love it, but some of them think he’s an idiot for getting the tattoo. I think most people would agree with the latter viewpoint. Unsurprisingly, Bradley is single.
â˜› More Awful Tattoos: Is This The Stupidest Tattoo Of All Time
â˜› More Terrible Tattoos: 21 Awful Jesus Tattoos