Sick Chirpse Reader Confessions #60

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The best way to clear your conscience before the weekend is to admit what you did via our anonymous Sick Chirpse confessions box (also located under this post) – every Friday we’ll be posting the best ones.

Here are the best from this week:

shampoo

linkristin

I ran out of soap recently and have just been using shampoo on my whole body instead

 

Mandatory Credit: Photo by ZUMA/REX (4610422d) Pope Francis I The Way of the Cross celebrations, Rome, Italy - 03 Apr 2015 The Way of the Cross is part of the Easter tradition in Catholic countries. It takes place on Good Friday and commemorates the passion and death of Jesus Christ through the reading of prayers along a path of 14 stations.

Oh god.

I went to church for a christening and I had a bag of coke in my purse for afterwards. I’m definitely going to hell.

 

toilet

Ben3354

Sometimes I take my shirt off to get some air when taking a particularly large shit

 

 

dog

leeds

My girlfriend and I bought a dog together, which she actually paid for. Things have not been great between us recently but I know that if we break up she will keep the dog. Really not sure what to do.

awake

Peter Camdon

Every time I sleep in the same bed as a girl I force myself to stay up all night just in case I snore.

depress

Slippery-slopes

My relationship is so bad with my parents i wonder if they cant tell im a anorexic drug addict with suicidal tendencies or whether they just dont give a shit and are quite happy to watch my life fall into disrepair.

tiles

Original glaze tiles

Every time I jerk off, I cum on to the bathroom tiles and mop up with tissue

aspire

slimjim

Growing up I wanted to be a football player or some kind of athlete as I was very good at sports in school. Instead I dropped out of university and became a Parcel Force delivery driver. Didn’t exactly shoot for the stars did I?

simon

Tesco

Me and my girlfriend went through a gram of ket while watching Britain’s got talent

chlam

sexeddropout

I’ve never been so shocked as when I found out I had chlamydia. I genuinely believed that because I came from a good background I was above getting STD’s.

 

 

sasha

4fillings

My boss looks exactly like the ex porn star Sasha Grey. Whenever we have morning meetings I just imagine her taking loads to the face

drunk

chuckman

I have this weird thing where I get home and reorganise my flat every time I’m shitfaced. Then I wake up and have no idea where anything is

 

 

Well done guys and gals – you’ve done us proud. Well, maybe not proud. But thanks for submitting and if your confession didn’t feature, don’t sweat it – just submit a better one next time.

Get involved and submit your confession(s) for next week:

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