The best way to clear your conscience before the weekend is to admit what you did via our anonymous Sick Chirpse confessions box – every week we’ll be posting our favourite ones.

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Itsgood4u

I’m too much of a pussy to tell my friends I’ve gone vegan with my girlfriend so have been avoiding eating with them for 3 months.

Iason

My boss thinks I’m a star employee because I stay in the office late every night, but the truth is I just want to minimise the time I spend with my girlfriend on week-nights

sharing is caring

When I was 17, I was shagging a friend of a friend. One night, after many drinks, I mentioned her to my best mate, and turns out he’d been slipping her one too. We congratulated each other and high 5’d. 10 years on, he doesn’t like it when I mention the girls name in front of his wife, but I’ll still raise my hand hoping he’ll high 5 me back.

_bender

I took LSD for the first time last month and didn’t move from my seat for 6 hours, during which time I was convinced I’d pissed myself at least 5 times

BonerBoy

Back when we were about 13/14 we had a school disco and I ended up grinding with a girl way out of my league on the dance floor. Naturally at that age I got a boner as we were dancing but didn’t expect what happened next. She felt it rubbing up on her and started freaking out and shouting that I had a boner. Proper attention seeking drama queen style. Everyone made a massive deal of it and I was known as “boner boy” for a while afterwards, even the teachers knew about it

FKURICK

I fucking hate my fiance. But if I break up with him I’ll have to move back in with my mum and I can’t deal with that.

bttomupz

I just turned 25 and measured my dick for the first time since college. I honestly think my dick has shrunk since I was 18 or maybe I just fooled myself back then with where I my pelvis ended and dick began.

Packman

Occasionally I cum in my girlfriend’s butt hole – it’s something we both enjoy very much. The last time we did it though she goes “watch this” and then farted my spunk back out of her butt. I think she thought it would turn me on but I found it absolutely disgusting. I think she’s gotten way too comfortable around me and I don’t like it

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Leave your confession(s) for next week in our submission box HERE.

See you next Friday!