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Sick Chirpse Fantasy Football League April Roundup

Sick Chirpse Fantasy Football 670

Gareth Bale shits goals. Bentekkers is a monster. Man Utd have won it again. Thank God QPR are down with Reading.

Sick Chirpse Fantasy Football 670
It’s been a heavy couple of weeks in the fantasy football and there have been a couple of new chancers making their way into the top ten as we draw to the end of the first season of Sick Chirpse’s finest competition. Last time we posted Tom Sands’ Prison Break FC were back repping and making their way back up to the top but since then the spoils have been shared every week by a different team.

Week 33 saw the rise of Ryan Williams’ Dirty Buffalo who hit 74 to take them up to third place for a week or two, whilst week 34 saw Mike Magee’s Mickey T FC rack up 46 as he attempted to scramble his way back into the Top 30. Week 35 was a bad week all round for anyone who knows anything about football which saw Dan Haviland’s Warriors and their 46 points make him top scorer but I’m not sure if that is gonna make him feel any better about himself in 75th position.

102 points for Terry Buckingham’s Real Madras sees them squeeze into the top 20 for the first time in a while whilst last week seen the reinvention of Tom Shipley and his Apocalypse Dudes hitting 68 to take them back into 4th and only 42 off top spot. The plaudits of the month have to go to the man who has been occupying top spot for too long now as Shane Tremlin’s Trems Trash scored 283 as he begins counting his money up at the top.

It’s gonna take some serious transfer use and good luck to catch the boy now but it isn’t out of sight for a couple of fantasy league big dogs. Arguably any of the Top 6 and maybe even 7 could catch him but they have to utilise every last transfer perfectly and the majority missed out on the big ticket that was Benteke’s hat-trick on Monday.

APRIL’S BIG HITTERS

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There’s a couple of people that we could easily talk about over the last month – there is RVP finally getting over his goal drought and helping take Man Utd to their 20th league title by knocking in a hat-trick, there’s Daniel Sturridge and Coutinho doing their best to light the way for a Liverpool future without Suarez – but across the whole month three of the Premierships finest have really stood out.

To start things off Leighton Baines is making another appearance in the big hitters on the basis that over the last 5 weeks he’s notched up 33 points with a bag load of assists and that doesn’t even describe half of the wonders he is pulling at Everton as he helps steer them to closing in on the Champs League places. A well deserved place in Europe next year, possibly a seat on the Man Utd first team bus and a place in the PFA team of the year awaits this fantastic left back.

The second of the power three has to be the big man – tekkers himself – Christian Benteke. The one man power house is still scoring for fun as well as the love of hitting the net. Who is the only Villa player to score more than 20 Prem goals in one season? Is it Dalian Atkinson? No. Is it Dwight Yorke? No. It is the mild mannered janitor Hong-Kong Fooey? No. It’s only bloody tekkers. With 42 points including the 17 he notched up on Monday night he is doing all the right things and is clearly one of the shining young talents of the Premier League – just a shame for him that someone else’s star is shining a bit brighter.

Introducing the PG Tips Monkey himself, Gareth Bale. Gareth Bale has only played in 3 of Spurs’ last 5 Premier League games but he has still managed 10 points in each of these in terms of fantasy football. Anyone who trusted in Bale coming back from his injury and still firing big time was repaid for the faith. Whilst taking the plaudits for player of the year, young player of the year and writers’ player of the year he will most likely win fantasy football player of the year. Basically, if you don’t have him in your team (me) then you aren’t gonna win toffee this year. Just deal with it. When he isn’t busy being found out on Twitter you can guarantee he’s thinking exactly how he’s gonna spank the ball in the top bin or spend his signing on fee for Real next season.

BIG SHITTER

Luis Suárez 'bites' Branislav Ivanovic

Luis Suarez has spent his entire season going from Big Hitter to Big Shitter with a heavy mixture of pure class and sadomasochistic tendencies, however, we don’t wanna give him any more press than Mike Tyson has all ready allowed him. Here’s the video of him chomping on Ivanovic and getting banned for more games than being a racist – you work it out. Tosser.

[yframe url=’www.youtube.com/watch?v=0I1TWPm4n6M’]

Here’s what you can look forward to in Week 38:

Sat 4 May 2013 – Premier League

  • Fulham v Reading 15:00
  • Norwich v Aston Villa 15:00
  • Swansea v Man City 15:00
  • Tottenham v Southampton 15:00
  • West Brom v Wigan 15:00
  • West Ham v Newcastle 15:00
  • QPR v Arsenal 17:30

Sun 5 May 2013 – Premier League

  • Liverpool v Everton 13:30
  • Man Utd v Chelsea 16:00

Mon 6 May 2013 – Premier League

  • Sunderland v Stoke 20:00

Tue 7 May 2013 – Premier League

  • Man City v West Brom 19:45

Wed 8 May 2013 – Premier League

  • Chelsea v Tottenham 19:45

Fulham sure up their Premier League status and someone reminds Berba that the season isn’t officially over yet. He scores. Norwich and Villa battle hard but the away team snatch a 2-1 victory. Swansea continue with their inability to win since the Carling Cup Final as Man City do them away – Yaya has a stormer. Spurs see off Southampton despite Rickie Lambert’s cheeky goal in their hunt for Champs League football. Lukaku has another stormer as West Brom play out a draw with Wigan…Martinez’s ass starts to quiver at the thought of relegation. Hammers play out a draw with the Toon leaving Pardew on the verge of taking the Magpies down. Uncle ‘arry tries to shut up shop but Arsene Wenger and Podolski have other ideas. Away win. Liverpool and Everton play out a draw as do Chelsea despite Man Utd having nothing to play for. Sunderland beat Stoke in a terrible game.

Then the extra games that give you chance to use your transfers to get double points…Man City score goals and beat West Brom. Facts. Chelsea do their best to shut down Bale but two draws in a row sees them starting to worry about their Champs League chances.

Here’s how the Sick Chirpse League looks guys…there’s still a chance to play your last hand and go for the big money:

Super League Table

Sick Chirpse

League PIN: 8009937

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POS Manager Team name Total points Week pts Starting
XI pts
Starting
XI pos
Goals Goal Pos Overall Position
1 Shane Tremlin Trems Trash 1640 45 1257 72374 93 92317 13477
2 Peter Jones Joner 1615 50 1261 70005 98 65286 20562
3 AlexanderMark Jones Dunblane Massacres 1603 41 1190 115095 109 18983 24816
4 Tom Shipley Apocalypse Dudes 1598 68 1342 30707 114 8053 26777
5 Tom Sands Prison Break FC 1597 42 1185 118325 107 25270 27198
6 Ryan Williams Dirty Buffalo 1590 48 1217 97422 98 65286 30097
7 Huw E Dynamo Kebab 1579 51 1139 147527 100 55152 35175
8 Nicky Greenhow Boomerwanger 1531 39 1054 191434 92 97735 61292
9 David Williams Muffin stuffers 1510 40 1376 19597 98 65286 74298
10 Gavin Rapaport Poo 1503 64 1225 92353 100 55152 78873
11 Emma Craig The Only Way Is Emma 1502 35 1126 155357 90 108237 79496
12 Johnny Callow Room 362 1498 40 1270 64790 95 81465 82073
13 Billy Mclean Barcemoaner 1496 31 1197 110433 99 60174 83345
14 Jeff Ingle Jeffentus 1468 38 895 227930 96 76095 101100
15 Robbie Atkinson diables Rouges 1466 44 1035 198654 88 118436 102391
16 Huw Barker HavantGotAClueVille 1463 40 1389 16274 93 92317 104179
17 Bobby Peliza bObbyDazzlers 1452 43 1209 102582 88 118436 110946
17 Lee Walsh KeansaKunt 1452 31 1103 168159 91 103026 110946
19 Drew Walsh Real SocieLAD 1449 37 1296 50930 88 118436 112779
20 Terry Buckingham Real Madras 1440 49 1183 119671 91 103026 118119
21 Matthew Stewart FC Boosh 1432 41 1181 120961 95 81465 122801
22 Alex Taylor leave-my-arse-a-lona 1425 39 1004 208598 93 92317 126780
23 Alex Prince Prince Boatengs 1420 24 1231 88610 93 92317 129525
24 Aaron Hicks Proud’s Prodders 1416 61 1093 173381 89 113443 131686
25 Dave Ward Pimp My Side 1413 37 1208 103233 82 147830 133294
26 Ross Stearny stearnpots barmyarmy 1404 36 1247 78472 81 152318 138006
27 Ryan Addams Fish fillet 1403 39 893 228118 84 138500 138544
28 Max Sheppard Fred West Ham 1401 47 1041 196486 85 133541 139599
29 Tim Williams TIMW_BRAP KILLAS 1397 46 1114 162266 94 86933 141594
30 Dan Filer ClubTropicanaDrinkFC 1387 46 1299 49372 85 133541 146410
31 Michael Magee Mickey T FC 1384 48 1442 6824 84 138500 147892
32 Neil Williams Lumpers and Kickers 1377 40 1141 146296 87 123621 151161
33 Anthony Ford 4 Dimensions 1373 28 1026 201821 78 165130 153014
34 Jon McLeish Bayern Bru 1370 43 1276 61411 82 147830 154299
35 James Martin Tourist Attraction 1360 33 1360 24445 86 128580 158758
36 Shaun Williams The Galacticos 1359 26 1307 45454 72 187902 159171
37 Luke Wyborn The Wombles 1358 38 972 216526 85 133541 159618
38 Ben Rowland Atheist FC 1347 24 1125 155949 82 147830 164255
39 David Hewitt football 1341 39 1175 124780 80 156690 166716
40 Blake Walton Walton Wonders 1340 34 1153 138808 78 165130 167130
40 Trevor Brenson RJBs XI 1340 31 1340 31471 74 180665 167130
42 Nikul Patani Brown Bear United 1335 27 1335 33406 93 92317 169121
43 Luke Skidmore bunchofslugs 1332 25 1230 89243 86 128580 170207
44 Thomas Foley Unbelievable Crisps 1329 33 1080 179843 77 169264 171301
45 Sam Lister inter thevan 1319 33 1138 148143 80 156690 175029
46 Piers Dixon Dixon Balls FC 1318 31 1202 107167 72 187902 175380
47 Ross Williams Tepee Town FC 1309 42 1238 84110 75 177026 178616
48 Mark Endicott Real Madreadfull 1303 27 912 226163 81 152318 180699
49 smart les lemon peng-win 1295 34 1295 51410 72 187902 183512
50 Luke Henderson Luke Ronald FC 1294 40 1129 153597 77 169264 183859
51 Redwan Elharrak Real Talk 1292 30 1292 53027 67 204085 184544
52 Martyn Aeissame Gratuitous FC 1291 25 1059 189400 73 184405 184859
53 Sam MartinRoss Martin-Boss 1289 23 837 232112 76 173239 185549
54 Ben Lawson spunkin FC 1286 25 1217 97422 73 184405 186520
54 Ashley Townsend 1 MANNING 1 CUP 1286 31 827 232568 69 197979 186520
56 Richard Dulieu Dyslexic CF 1279 32 1279 59838 69 197979 188754
57 Elliott Henderson Barsenal 1273 27 1150 140710 68 201015 190649
58 John Twinn Pav FC 1267 37 1063 187672 80 156690 192570
59 Toby Dennett Dennethinaikos 1250 32 1222 94261 60 222716 197653
60 William Rowe Keefy’s Krunchers 1249 32 1144 144462 88 118436 197927
61 Dean Webster Blues 1243 40 1113 162821 62 217799 199707
62 Louis Day Spews Stars 1238 29 1238 84110 67 204085 201031
63 Jack Hopwood FC Kaiser 1233 38 1099 170276 55 233339 202383
64 John Ryan Obi – 1 Kanobi – 0 1219 27 1219 96161 79 161008 206316
65 Christopher Davies T Dogg’s Ball Hoggs 1216 22 978 215211 55 233339 207144
66 James Blundell Blundells boys 1210 20 975 215882 78 165130 208731
67 Anthony Ward Park Ji Wonders 1209 31 1067 185937 70 194807 208985
68 John Hawkins Mmmmcustard 1206 33 989 212537 64 212510 209772
69 Daniel Ostridge Ajax Treesdown 1203 39 1244 80315 61 220281 210480
70 Danny Sharpe Team Sharpey 1188 25 1188 116425 70 194807 214173
71 Patrick Grayson real aycliffe 1182 30 1182 120318 71 191378 215556
72 Charlie Hey tiki taka jazz cats 1176 21 1176 124110 74 180665 216911
73 Matt Morris Morris FC 1171 34 1171 127375 75 177026 218154
74 Mohamed Hussein Why Always Me FC 1167 30 1043 195692 63 215150 219069
75 Daniel Haviland Warriors 1162 45 1162 133089 47 245792 220144
76 James Roberts WOOPWOOP United 1159 32 1042 196074 41 251705 220828
77 Jamie Sadur Skid Mark 1157 40 1209 102582 60 222716 221295
78 Daniel Watson SirBobWouldBeProud 1137 35 1044 195295 55 233339 225537
79 Maxwell Hughes maxibon united 1135 36 1096 171827 64 212510 225945
80 Michael Sinfield FC Scorgasm 1128 33 1128 154170 69 197979 227278
81 Christian Adofo The Mandem 1123 30 1123 157075 73 184405 228252
82 Daniel Guy Dans witwickys 1107 23 1107 166068 52 238758 231103
83 Steve French French FC 1095 35 1095 172306 52 238758 233036
84 Josh Watkins bluesbrother 1094 26 1094 172833 44 249113 233196
85 Richard Gilbert Queefstars 1090 32 1090 174863 53 237042 233847
86 Dave Bunker Team Bunker 1070 15 876 229594 64 212510 236821
87 Alex Crawshaw Crawshaw’s Commies 1059 20 1050 193062 64 212510 238428
88 James Tootill BigDonFC 1057 20 1073 183148 40 252459 238690
88 Nick Randles Quallo 1057 35 1057 190234 51 240345 238690
90 Mark Guy butchys tanks 1036 30 963 218460 59 225075 241304
91 Nick Reid OnOne United 1004 27 1004 208598 40 252459 244703
92 Nestor Schischka The Winning One 984 24 882 229110 38 253739 246526
93 Theodore Morgan DangALangTime 978 31 978 215211 62 217799 247019
94 Tomn Pitts Gareth Keenan Troops 951 17 951 220656 42 250896 248932
94 Nick Bourne Greenham Royals 951 23 951 220656 49 243263 248932
96 Wes Holden Green FC 903 16 903 227169 38 253739 251522
97 David Armitage Real Betties 899 26 899 227559 52 238758 251710
98 Craig Abbs Team abber 868 20 868 230209 33 256239 252982
99 Tyler Casey 50 Shades Of Goals 835 21 840 231963 25 258797 254151
100 Matthew Hurley 12fort 801 21 801 233622 49 243263 255098

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