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Sex Machine Daddy Long Legs Are Set To Invade All Our Homes This Month

Great.

I gotta say that daddy long legs still freak me out whenever I encounter one, so the news that super horny sex machine ones are going to be invading all our homes this month definitely isn’t music to my ears.

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The insects are often out en masse at this time of the year as they emerge from the ground and attempt to find a mate, but lawn treatment specialist Ian Kettle says that he has never encountered as many as he has this year, with an estimate of a whopping 200 billion of them rampaging all over the UK. Paul Hetherington from the charity Buglife said the following about them:

They cannot eat or drink and only live for a few days.

They are purely built to have sex and the females lay eggs outdoors.

They have got 24 hours or so to find a mate.

They are sex machines.

Sounds like an OK life doesn’t it? Just get born, have sex a bunch and then die? Beats having to through puberty and all the crap anyway.

Despite the fact that the daddy long legs sound like they’re having a pretty fun life though, it does also mean that they’re gonna be bugging you and me in the foreseeable future. The nicest way to treat them is to gather them up in a glass and throw them outs if you find one, but I guess you probably don’t need to feel bad about killing them if they’re only going to be alive for a week anyway. You make the choice.

For more of the same, check out this huntsman spider that is so huge it will give you nightmares for a week. Scary.

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