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A Self Isolating Premier League Footballer ‘Got Wrecked And Slept With Wife’s Sister’

Oh dear.

If you’re worried about what you might get up to in the next few weeks whilst you’re self isolated/quarantined/living under martial law, then you should perhaps spare a minute to think about our poor Premier League footballers, one of whom has found it so hard to deal with that he’s already ended up shagging his wife’s sister.

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The ridiculous sounding story probably isn’t too outrageous when you consider who we’re dealing with and also because it comes from celebrity sports psychologist Steve Pope. Here’s what Steve told The Sun about his fears for what the future may hold for them:

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Premier League players have so much money, on the face of it they should have no concerns.

But they desperately miss the celebrity aspect of performing and turn to other things, usually bad for them or destructive.

One player phoned the other day to say, ‘I got wrecked and ended up sleeping with my wife’s sister’.

Many players are mentally lazy. They are told when to train, what to eat, where to turn up, how to play.

The ones I have spoken to are suffering from stress and anxiety, moving already towards depression.

Some are devastated by not knowing when they’ll be able to not only play again, but train with their mates.

Those from lower league clubs are desperately worried about their future.

They are like, ‘I’m in the last season of my contract, I’m 33, I was playing for a new one. Now if the season doesn’t finish, how can I prove myself? How do I earn money?

I’ve had well over 30 calls from players in England, four so far from Northern Ireland, over a dozen more from players I work or have worked with on the continent,” he continued.

“Plenty who I helped stop gambling are back on it in a big way. Clubs need to do anything they can to get them back in their comfort zone.

I mean I suppose you should be sympathetic to the plight of these men, but it’s kinda hard when the rest of us are looking at an indefinite period off work and what that can mean for us just staying alive and housed and everything and the incredible stress that can cause. Sounds way easier to just get wrecked and shag your wife’s sister to be honest.

Guys just need to grow up and not be idiots basically – is it really that hard? Just get a new board game or something.

For more of the same, check out what ISIS are telling jihadists about Coronavirus. Pretty dumb.

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