So on Sunday night it was the WWE Royal Rumble but I didn’t stay up and watch it this year. I haven’t done that for a while – I guess because I’m an adult now and so are all my friends -but back when I was a kid I used to love getting the pizza and the beers in with my buddies and staying up and watching it and getting really into it. You just never know what’s going to happen (although most of the time you probably know who’s going to win because it’s so clearly signposted) because loads of old wrestlers come back and there’s always the opportunity to progress and/or begin new feuds. It’s just a great event. I hate it when the Royal Rumble isn’t the main event of the night though and some stupid title match comes after it, which is exactly what happened on Sunday.
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In fairness it was The Rock’s first title shot for 10 years or something and everyone loves The Rock but when I finally got round to catching the replay of the Royal Rumble (yeah I would have posted this sooner but I only actually managed to watch it last night and I didn’t want to get any spoilers before it, even though I kinda knew what was going to happen) I felt like The Rock was just really old and crap and slow and he wasn’t even that cool anymore. The promo he did before the match was just painful to watch and really really boring, whereas he used to be the most electrifying man in sports entertainment and when he was speaking there was no way you could fail to be captivated by his speech.
The Rock just came off looking like a guy who was way past his best and was reliving former glories for a cheap pop from old wrestling fans like me and it kinda sucked when he managed to beat CM Punk at the end of the event in a really crappy match that just showed how old and sterile he had become. His people’s elbow was almost as slow as Hulk Hogan doing a leg drop and it was kind of ridiculous that a move like that could even beat CM Punk, who had apparently held the title for 500 days or something. It was stupid and frankly pretty disappointing and it made me kinda glad that I didn’t care about wrestling anymore, aside from tuning in for the Royal Rumble every year. And maybe Wrestlemania but probably not.
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Anyway, my disappointment was NOTHING compared to the emotions felt by these two superfans. I got a hold of the first video on Monday thanks to @MattyB00sh but I only stumbled across the other one yesterday because my buddy XFayeX posted it on her wall. Basically, these guys are complete and utter weirdos who take wrestling way too seriously. The first kid I can kinda understand (although I think he might be trolling because he does seem like he might be acting but I can’t really tell) because he’s just a little fat kid who loves wrestling and probably doesn’t have much of a life other than tuning in for RAW and cheering for CM Punk, so it makes sense that he would get super upset and throw his replica championship belt on the floor and storm into his bedroom (which looks really weird because it’s just some kind of desk/wardrobe thing in the middle and loads of old video games on the floor, where the hell do you live dude?) and throw a tantrum but the second one is just like WTF dude, srsly?
To try and sum it up, the second one is some 77 year old dude from Syracuse, New York who has worked in a liquor store up there for the past 60 years (already this sounds horrific) and got shot in the eye last week when someone tried to rob the store. Yeah, apparently people still hold up liquor stores in America, even though it probably hasn’t happened in a movie since Menace II Society or something. Anyway, even though experts have told him that he’ll probably never ever see out of that eye again and the trauma of being robbed at gunpoint must have been fairly terrible, this dude states that the worst part of his week was easily when The Rock beat CM Punk for the WWE Title at the Royal Rumble. Dude must really give a shit about wrestling huh? I can’t imagine anything worse than getting shot in the eye and losing my vision, but I guess when you reach 77 you start to look at the more important things in your life….
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