Scientists Say This Is What Jesus Really Looked Like

Jesus, he looks different.

Most people have an imagine in their head of what Jesus looked like. A bloke from the Middle East, 2000 years ago, white as a Milkybar with silky smooth brown hair. Obviously. But now scientists have come up with an image of what he looked like, which is probably very different to the majority of depictions we see.

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You’d have to be pretty naive to believe that a bloke born 2015 years ago, in the Middle East, would have skin like a Milkybar and lovely silky-smooth hair. However, that is all we seem to see of the fella. Books, movies, Christmas cards, paintings, TV shows… he’s always been a white guy. But unbelievably, it turns out he probably wasn’t. Shocking, I know.

‘Popular Mechanics’ is a group of scientists that have constructed an image that they believe is as accurate a depiction as possible, taking into account the time and whereabouts.

Here he is:


It’s a stark difference to Willem Defoe in The Last Temptation Of Christ, isn’t it.

To reach this image, the scientists used computer analysis of a first century Semite skull from the Galilee region. This is why the facial shape is like it is, and has it’s distinct prominent features. It isn’t actually a definite picture of the son of god, but it’s an accurate portrayal of what he would have looked like. Which will piss off a few racist religious folks.

Also, it turns out that these ‘images of Jesus’ found in snacks are all completely wrong. Who’d have thought it?


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