Today, your human worth can be precisely calculated by the success of your last Facebook post.
The aim of the profile picture is not to accurately represent your appearance, but to pander to the masses and reel in as many precious signifiers of mild approval from friends, colleagues and near-strangers as possible: the highly coveted ‘like’.
Follow these guidelines and you will achieve maximal likes on your profile picture, asserting your social status to that guy with an afro from that party that time and any other prying cyber snoopers.
The recipe for a like laden Profile Pic is focused around painstakingly recreating a series of textbook scenarios.
1. A Baby To Brandish
Be it a relative, enemy or spawn, a gurgling chubby-cheeked infant will guarantee a considerable like count. Ideally, try to secure the usage of one of those freakishly adorable baby actors, with their immaculately combed tufts and winning gums. Wielding a homely baby will probably get you out of single figures, but nowhere close to that big money.
2. Third-World Children
Nothing tickles the liking finger’s fancy like a PP of children from a developing nation clambering over you. Preferably malnourished, but smiley.
â˜› More Third World Countries: Kyrgyzstan And Decapitated Dead Goats