LIFE

Piers Morgan’s Rant On Millennials And Kale Made Him Look Like A Complete Tool

Looks like he’s headed for a meltdown.

Piers Morgan is a bore. When he’s not complaining about topless celebrities, getting punched by Jeremy Clarkson or hacking into people’s phones, he’s endlessly spouting a stream of utter drivel via his Daily Mail column and social media feeds. Not to mention that he’s one of President-elect Trump’s BFFS. He’s enough to make anyone want to switch off forever.

IMAGE VIA + VIA 

Earlier today, the absolute edge-lord himself tweeted an excerpt from his latest heap of word vomit titled ‘memo to millennials’ claiming that our generation are “are a bunch of phone-addicted, selfie-obsessed, hashtagging, snapchatting, kale-munching, twerking, lazy, whining, ill-informed, politically correct, cossetted narcissists who find absolutely everything mortally offensive and believe there are 165 ways to sexually identify.” Insert obligatory Neil deGrasse Tyson meme here, partially for the relevance but mostly to make Piers’ skin crawl, with memes being such a millennial form of communication.

But that wasn’t even the worst of it. Angered young people from all corners of Twitter naturally responded to the suited baboon with 180 characters or less of annoyance. Piers’ responses were absolute trash, with insults being on par to those of a 12-year-old who had created their very first email address just last week. Just have a look.

Cringe.

Supercilious, whining and smug-for-no reason are traits that Piers understands first-hand. It’s what keeps him young.

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It appears that Piers has gotten young people confused with techies. Twitter user Daniel Phelps calls him out on this.

Sounds like someone has a crush. And as if Piers hasn’t ever taken a selfie, it’s 2016 and photographic self portraiture for self expression is just as popular with middle aged people as it is with millennials. Just look at his Instagram feed, the absolute troll.

He even challenges one poor dude to a fist fight, which would be a lot scarier if he was a hard man instead of an old sack of potatoes that probably irons his ties.

But this is where things start to get a little weird and the focus switches to hating on kale, cabbage’s nutritious and delicious leafy green cousin. The poor defenceless food item doesn’t even have a Twitter account to defend itself.

Refusing to eat your greens, now who is the whiny teen? Give it a rest, Piers. Maybe if he ate a nutrient every once in a while then he wouldn’t be such a grouch. One time he even threatened a 12-year-old’s pet cat, it’s time for someone to get this twat a salad.


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