Patsy Palmer Starts DJ’ing


Seems like all female sluts are getting into DJ’ing at the moment.


One of the most annoying things about running Sick Chirpse day to day is that we get loads of emails from mailing lists that we didn’t sign up for about shit bands that we don’t give a fvck about. This was why we interviewed some idiots called The Violet May about a year ago in a really boring interview. The thing is about these lists is that even when you mail them saying ‘Please take me off the list, I hate this music and I don’t care about it, stop fvcking emailing me you piece of shit’ they reply saying you’ve been taken off the list, but then they just email you more crap the week after like nothing has happened. JAYOU gets so mad about it. But then sometimes, you find a diamond in amongst all the shit and that’s what happened this morning.

It seems like it’s not only Paris Hilton who has been getting involved in the world of DJ’ing but also Patsy Palmer. Who? You probably know her better as Bianca (You slag! is optional when saying her name) from Eastenders. I haven’t watched Eastenders like ever so I don’t really know anything about it but I’m pretty sure she hasn’t been in it for a while, so I doubt people are really going to be queueing up around the block to hear her spin some late 90’s/early 00’s shit like Shanks and Bigfoot or Artful Dodger despite the loosely ‘iconic’ nature of her character. I went on my gut instinct because Patsy lloks like a bit of a garage girl, but would that even be the kind of music she would even be playing?

I don’t know, and that’s probably the best thing about this email, it’s so short. All it is was the picture I included at the start of the post and this blurb:

‘Everyone’s favourite soap character, Bianca Jackson, was played by the legendary Patsy Palmer. Patsy has recently started DJ-ing upon request as she has DJ’d for many moons for friends party’s as she loves music and was an avid clubber for many years…’

That’s literally it. Really selling it to me there mate. She’s been DJ’ing at her friends’ parties for a while and was an avid clubber for years. Let’s just deconstruct this sentence for a bit. She WAS an avid clubber so I guess my guess about her playing some late 90’s garage or whatever genre that crap I was talking about falls into was correct, and her previous experience is DJ’ing at a mate’s party. Great, she sounds awesome. I’m sure her mates aren’t going to tell her that she’s a shit DJ, given that she’s probably the only reason that they can get into crap celebrity parties at Mahiki or China White, and these are the only ‘reviews’ that we have of her so called DJ’ing ability. Like anyone is going to book her on a recommendation like that:

‘Oh yeah, my mate’s boss at DJ’ing, you gotta book her for your party man’

‘Sounds good, she got any sets or tracks I can listen to her? Or can I come see her play some time?’

‘Nah, she ain’t got any of that mate. She’s well good though man she DJ’s all the time when we all hang out together’


Really well thought out e-mail and blurb mate, I think we’ll definitely be contacting Patsy Palmer to DJ at the first Sick Chirpse party alongside Paris Hilton. But take me off your fvcking mailing list, yeah?


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