So it’s coming to the start of Friday night and it’s been a while since I’ve played video games properly (aside from the joy of Dating Ariane which was friggin’ awesome and if you haven’t played it you should go click on that link right now and give it a go) but I sutmbled across this game that allegedly simulates open heart surgery and it’s really cool and I probably won’t even go out tonight because of it. Or at least until I clock it because it’s one of those games that is real simple to get into but almost impossible to get the hang of and actually beat.
Kinda like Dating Ariane in that respect but in Dating Ariane it was annoying because Ariane was a stupid bitch who never fell for my advances and would do stuff like tell me to go home after she had already taken her bra off and made out with me in the hot tub – I mean come on like that would ever happen to me in real life, right? – but more annoying is the fact that it’s kinda hard to control and you often end up doing stuff you don’t want to do by accident, like sawing off one of the dude’s ribs or throwing one of the guy’s lungs on the floor. Or just not being able to do anything that you actually want to do. But I guess that’s kind of the beauty of it and why you want to keep playing it because it should be so easy yet it’s so bloody difficult that you want to put your fist through the screen. Kinda like Dating Ariane but a whole new level of frustration really.
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And yeah, it’s clear from the outset that this game has pretty much zero basis in reality as there is no way that in open heart surgery you have to cut up a guy’s ribs and then remove both of his lungs from his body to get to his heart and then put them back in again, but I guess that’s why it’s so fun/funny and why it doesn’t really matter when you accidentally drop a pen into his chest or throw his heart on the floor. Although that kinda does matter because it looks like you can’t pick it up EVER AGAIN once that has happened in the game due to the fiddly controls.
If you don’t have anything to do this Friday night you can head over to Bossas Studios to take a look at it but be warned it might ruin your Friday night, and maybe your Saturday morning too. I would recommend instead watching this walkthrough from some crazy Viking guy because he has all of the frustration but seems to know what he’s doing too. His commentary is really hilarious too – like genuinely, but I think that’s maybe because he has a stupid Scandinavian voice – and you get to see everything you would do in the game anyway, and it only takes seven minutes rather than the two hours I’ve just spent trying to cut this guys ribs up. Check it:
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