We all know that a significant chunk of the UK Leave voters were the over 65s, so not surprisingly all of those within this age bracket are now celebrating Britain becoming the first nation to vote to leave the EU in 34 years this month.
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Thousands of northern British OAPs voted overwhelmingly to ensure that millennials will not only suffer the consequences of environmental destruction, depletion of fossil fuels, an unsustainable and greedy economic system but also years of shitty and boring British food and a rapid decline in sexually attractive continental folk.
We caught up with Deidre Rose, head of underground criminal syndicate ‘Roll Old Crew’ from her Peterborough bungalow today. She explained, through plumes of Sterling smoke and loud sips of sherry, that:
Those flash, vest wearing, tattooed, short back and sides, fresh faced pricks will suffer the consequences long after I’ve died of Emphysema.
It all started when some young tart drinking that stupid protein shit at the local cafe refused to give me a free cuppa.
As an old member of society Deidre expects free education, unreasonably generous pensions and free cups of tea.
People say it’s because us oldies are xenophobic, homophobic and scared of change but the truth is that foreign and gay people are the only ones who seem to look after us. I’m doing this out of complete spite to fuck over the future of the young and hopeful trendies in East London with those man bun wearing twats eating those stupid grass sandwiches.
Graham, son of Deidre, told us how he planned to turn off the heating and water supply to her home when she went out to the local bingo club to celebrate with Roll Old Crew loyals Dorothy and Ronald this evening. He added:
I’m hoping Brexit will offer the opportunity for a referendum on Euthanasia in the coming months; then we can put that leather faced, lemon sucking twisted old slag out of her misery.
Fair play mate – I’m sure many other people across the country will be thinking the same. I bet old Deidre would not be happy to know that Sir Richard Branson is endorsing a 2nd referendum.