CHIRPSES

New Jersey Cops Have Been Awarded $2.45 Million After A Decade Of Harrasment With A Big Blue Dildo From A Superior Officer (VIDEO)

Sounds traumatic.

The American police department gets a fairly bad rep and rightly so as they’re often shooting/murdering unarmed black men  and generally just being massive douchebags, but this story takes some believing even by their standards.

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The story takes place in the Mountainside Police Department in new Jersey, which is a department hat has less than 25 members and could be the ideal setting for some kind of sitcom, which it seems internal affairs officer Andrew Huber seems to think it was – with him playing the Michael Scott character. It turns out that Huber’s idea of fun was to harass other employees with a big blue dildo every day for ten years, whilst sometimes also walking around naked in the toilet, throwing shit smeared tissues at co-workers and placing his testicles on unsuspecting colleagues’ food.

There’s even some video footage of Huber hitting a dispatcher in the face repeatedly with the dildo, whilst the officer filming asks what it smells like. Try not to laugh:

Yeah, those are the kind of jokes you laugh at because they’re so pathetic and awful, not because they’re actually funny. I guess every high school jock in America really does end up staying in their home town and joining the police force to make a lifetime’s worth of dick jokes over and over again.

The other guy in the video, Thomas Urban, was a real class clown too who regularly grabbed a flashlight and smashed it into the anus of other people working at the police station. Sounds like a real laugh a minute down at that place.

Anyway, because of this abuse and workplace bullying, the six officers affected are receiving $408,000 each in compensation. That seems like an awful lot for what essentially amounts to a bunch of dick jokes being made in your workplace, but I suppose that does add up after about ten years of it/this is America why should we be surprised about anything?

Fair play to the boys who took this to court and won it I suppose. Huber and Urban have reportedly lost their jobs alongside the police chief of the department with none of them receiving their pensions either. Ouch.

For more of the same, check out this father hiding a 12 inch dildo in his son’s bag at the airport. Gotcha.

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