How do you win your girlfriend’s heart when you’re 15? Record a creepy webcam message to her and post it on YouTube for the whole world to see.

This went viral about a month ago but is so hilarious even though it isn’t that up to date I’ve still got to share it with all the Sick Chirpse readers. And hey if it wasn’t featured on Sick Chirpse you probably missed it anyway right?

I’m not sure if hilarious is the best way to describe it, because you could quite easily substitute that word for the phrases downright creepy or totally weird. It’s basically some like 13 or 14 year old American kid with a goofy Jewfro talking into a webcam. Only the webcam isn’t like set up on top of his computer like a normal person, he’s like holding it in his hand and talking into it. And he keeps rocking it back and forth all the way through the message which just comes out looking really really weird…..and this is before you even hear what the kid has to say in his message.

It’s basically some kind of apology to his girlfriend Briona. Yeah, firstly Briona is a real name. Secondly, it’s not really made clear what Briona did, but the guy delivering the message is Ok with it. He calls her baby girl a bunch and talks about how he forgives her and how he loves her so much and how he can’t wait to see her in school tomorrow (ew!) and flashes a smile that’s reminiscent of the kind of smile Gary Glitter might wear when he’s walking into a playground with a packet of sweets. All the while this is a close up of his face and oh yeah, I forgot to say he’s topless the whole time too, and there’s also a part where he looks like he might be jerking off.

Some of his lines are truly ridiculous to the point of being borderline disturbing/psycopathic though as he details his love for Briona. Take this one for instance: ‘I need you more than humans need water and food to survive.’ And that’s not even the best one. Try ‘you mean more to me than golden diamonds mean to the greediest burglar.’ There are some lines even better than that one in there but I’ll let you see those yourself, but know for a fact before you start that you won’t know whether to laugh or cry because it’s seriously weird. Especially the finale where he acts REALLY creepily and says some of the grossest stuff I’ve ever heard. Not in a gross way, more in a ‘I can’t believe he actually said that’ kind of way.’

If I was Briona I would have dumped this chump at school the following day! Check out the message below:

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