Marine Wildlife Breakthrough

Scientists finally uncover why walruses are so happy all the time, it’s because they can suck their own dick.

Walruses are already happy right? Right. Well we’ve never really known why. Is it because they’re chilling out in the deep blue sea all day eating clams? Is it because they have humungous bad ass killer fangs? Is it because their existence all in all is pretty damn chilled out? No, it’s none of those reasons. The reason walruses are so god damn happy all the time is because they can, and do, suck their own dick. Seriously. Who wouldn’t be happy all the time if they could suck their own dick? Check it:

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