It’s that time of the week when we examine weirdoes who have decided to get into a relationship  with an inanimate object and have decided to tell the whole world about it and this time we’re looking at a guy who has fallen in love with a bunch of balloons.

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28 year old Aakash Majumdar identifies as ‘objectum sextum’ – meaning that he is sexually attracted to inanimate objects – and has revealed that he now enjoys a physical relationship with the balloons. Here’s what he had to say about it:

I like their presence and warmth, and share intimate feelings with my balloons and vice versa.

I make out with my balloons. When you’re in love, you spend a lot of time together and accept all kinds of flaws.

Every morning, I wake up by saying good morning and giving a kiss to my balloons that sleep beside me, and vice versa.

When they become inflated, I think that’s when they’re born.

I can talk to them, take them shopping and for a walk in the garden.

They do talk to me through dreams and telepathy.

[The balloons] should have the freedom and the chance to see the world and that is the reason why I walk with them everywhere.

Since I’ve confessed my love for my balloons, my life has changed for the better.

Our love is so strong that I can’t live without him.

I love him so much that in 2021, I’ve proposed to him for marriage.

[The balloons] are just as fragile as a human baby.

I need to protect him from all danger.

From sharp objects, changes in temperature to suffocation.

Because of his delicate nature, I supervise him at all times.

This is the most attractive thing I find — I feel safe, and calm with him and vice versa as he often gets killed for fun.

One day while inflating a few balloons with a pump, a balloon got popped.

I cried for the loss and after that, I became more careful.

When there is a sudden death of balloons, I try to resurrect them by re-inflating them.

If I can’t, I give them a funeral by digging and covering them with the soil.

Wow. There’s a lot going on there isn’t there, but I think the main takeaway we can get from everything he’s saying is that this guy is legitimately insane. What the hell is he talking about here? Bonkers.

It’s also kind of interesting that Aakash refers to the balloons as him, so I’m wondering if that means that he identifies as homosexual as well? Not that it really matters, but it’s just another small touch that makes the whole situation even weirder. Hope I never run into this psycho making out with his balloons whilst he’s walking down the street. Serious serial killer vibes.

For more of the same, check out this woman who is in a sexual relationship with a plane. What is up with all these people?