An 22 year old from Ohio called the police on himself to report that he was “too high”, and when officers showed up on the scene they found him in the foetal position surrounded by Doritos and cookies.
One of the officers said they could hear him groaning in full on whitey mode from outside the property. When they entered he told them he couldn’t feel his hands.
The police report said the man was found lying “on the floor in the foetal position surrounded by a plethora of Doritos, Pepperidge Farm Goldfish and Chips Ahoy cookies.”
The man then gave the cops his car keys for some reason, and in the car they found a glass pipe with marijuana residue, two packs of skins, two roaches and glass jar packed with marijuana.
He refused medical treatment and hasn’t been charged with any crime — I’m guessing his whitey just wore off while the cops were there and he realised what a dumbass he must have looked like.
Seriously though, how high must this guy have been to actually call the police? The police are literally the last people you want hanging around you when you’re baked. What did he think they were even going to do once they got there? Give him some kind of stoner antidote?
No idea how chilling with a zoot surrounded with Doritos and cookies could ever end this way, but there you go. The guy basically had everything a stoner could ever wish for within reach and he still managed to go into meltdown. No more weed for you mate.
P.S. Sounds like a crazier whitey than the one this battle rapper pulled mid-battle.