Lewis Capaldi Won’t Be Joining OnlyFans Because His Dick Is Too Small

Fair enough really.

If it wasn’t for Coronavirus, then 2020 might well be remembered as the year of OnlyFans as the subscription platform’s popularity rocketed after several high profile celebrities like Cards B and Mia Khalifa signed up for it to satisfy all those thirsty males out there.

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However, one superstar who won’t be joining the service is Lewis Capaldi, who made the announcement via his Twitter account after The Scottish Sun figured out that he could earn £2 million if he stripped off on it. The reason: his cock is too small:

That’s classic Lewis Capaldi really isn’t it? What a down to Earth and relatable guy hey? I suppose it’s kind of refreshing that he goes around being himself on social media and that’s part of his appeal when most musicians have a whole bunch of social media employees running everything for them, but it also comes across as a bit annoying as well I guess when he’s always ‘being a lad’ and ‘having the banter’. Damned if you do and damned if you don’t I guess.

As for the Only Fans thing, I suppose Lewis Capaldi probably doesn’t need £2 million but it’s certainly nice to have the option isn’t it? I think I would gladly strip off and show people my dick if it meant I would have that kind of bank balance. There’s just no way I’m relatable enough though.

For more of the same, check out when he pissed himself on stage once. Just one of the guys.


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