Karry Katona Claims She’s Bigger Than Britney Spears

Kerry Katona decides to bore us further.

And so the yawn fest starts – not content with shuffling the devils powder up her nose and turning up to “work” pissed as a fart, the voices in Kerry Katona’s head have started talking again. Her chemically imbalanced brain has been feeding her messages from the great beyond on how she is potentially as big as – wait for it – Britney Spears!

She goes on to say that people (or the voices in her head) have told her she is a big as Britney! “I don’t know why but at least I never shaved my head!” say Kerry with an undeserved sense of accomplishment.

Jay Z apparently thinks I’m a cool cat!” says reality TV burden Kerry. More than likely she misheard him though and  he said she was a foolish twat. Anyway, apparently Jay Z has seen her somewhere – maybe she was going through his bins at some point – and wants to turn her into the British Kim Kardashian.

As per the normal with Kerry we don’t know what’s on the cards next, due to her being as talented as a dried up turd. So with that in mind we can probably expect her to invite cameras into her daily life as we watch her fight for that ever so tender grip on reality whilst confirming how in love she is for the 35th time.

A better would option would perhaps be to attempt to emulate “Inception” whereby we are able to view Kerry’s sub conscious and hopefully implement an idea where she just shuts the fvck up for good and stops adding price tags to her daily affairs.  Or I guess as a last resort she could always try her hand in the smut industry.


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