CHIRPSES

HUNTING BIN LADEN (.COM)

Bizarre website details ex military man’s plan to head over to Afghanistan and ‘find Osama bin Laden & kill the fvck.’

I was looking through the list of sickchirpse’s followers on twitter (@sickchirpse – get on it) and was surprised to see a guy who’s username was HuntingBinLaden on our list. Investigating further I clicked onto his profile and found a link to his website – huntingforbinladen.com.

Well, it was pretty much the website that the domain name implied it would be and reads like the real life story that The Expendables could probably be based upon. Or maybe it’s the other way round.

The site is presented as the journal of an ex-military man, elusively named Sarge, who has assembled (or is planning to assemble) a crack team of commandoes to head over to Afghanistan to hunt through the border lands with one mission: ‘Find Osama bin laden & kill the fvck.’ He also plans to film the entire experience. Here’s a picture of Sarge, he definitely looks the part:

The site states ‘Motivated by a desire to avenge the death of the 9/11 victims and a real prize of cold, hard cash and international fame propels the team from the stewpot into the fire. Armed with the latest high tech weapons, communications and intelligence. The team will have full body armor, up-armored vehicles, and a web of the latest on the ground intelligence, the team is expected to get closer than anyone in history to the elusive terrorist and to kill Bin Laden. They will not take him prisoner. Call them the Jihadi Killers if you like, because that is what they do best.’

Despite not making much sense grammatically, this all sounds more like the plot of a hot new videogame rather than real life. But I can’t find anything about a videogame like this anywhere on the internet, so unless it’s one of the best viral marketing campaigns ever I think it might actually be true?

However, there are still several bizarre parts of the blog which have me questioning this. Firstly, Sarge seems to be recruiting for his crack commando team through the page which is slightly unusual, and the ‘job description’ of each of these positions is, um, highly specific to say the least. Check it out:

‘Recruit 5: Asian martial arts expert: This female recruit is of Asian descent and has at least one black belt in a deadly martial art. She is an expert in hand to hand combat. Eskrima/Arnis skills are highly desirable. Must be comfortable firing automatic weapons, detonating bombs and employing improvised explosive devices in life or death situations. A strong presence and prior military experience is highly beneficial. Preferably, she speaks multiple languages and knows how to extract information from powerful and potentially dangerous characters.’

Not asking for much huh? Sarge has also uploaded this weird video which shows him swimming in a pool and then standing in an elevator, getting some coffee and driving through an underground car park and into the street, all to the sounds of Izzy Stradin. It could even just be a music video for all I know:

httpv://www.youtube.com/watch?v=X5qmjmjKJX0

In addition to this a lot of his journal and tweets also bizarrely talk about his recent experience with a con man who has swindled $15,000 off him and who he’s trying to track down and beat the shit out or something to get his money back. Here are some choice quotes regarding that topic:

‘It’s infuriating, considering I could be using the money to fund this’
‘IF YOU’RE READING THIS BLOG, MA… I AM TELLING YOU RIGHT NOW, YOU MADE A MISTAKE MESSING WITH ME’

Is this another case of internet fact or fiction? I’m unsure at this point as the blog is updated regularly and he seems pretty intent on going over there, even though his original first choice partner dropped out. Don’t worry though he’s found another accomplice: ‘He’s a cool cat, I haven’t known him all that long, but he’s a cowboy and I like his style. We get along very well and like my other friend, our personalities are very compatible and we are both characters.’ Phew. I guess we’ll just have to keep reading and see how the story progresses.

One more question though: why the hell is this dude following sick chirpse on twitter!?!?



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