It was a normal day, games were underway, Chelsea FC were losing their title shot at the league cup against Swansea (who played rather well, I must say), but that wasn’t even the headliner. Chelsea failed to make the news for their appalling attitude, bad team work and overall desire not to play good football, because well, they didn’t feel like it. After already accumulating a defeating 2-0 aggregate, all roads led home back to Stamford Bridge, but that wasn’t enough.
Introducing – Charlie Morgan. Ball boy, ‘Swansea Lad’, official time-waster, and soon to be on your screens for god knows how long. British entertainment?
Charlie’s one job was was to get the ball back to the players as quickly as possibly. But as you can imagine, ball boys tend to take their time when their team is winning. Charlie was no different, although he maybe took the time wasting a bit too far when he decided to dive on top of the ball, preventing Hazard from retrieving it and carrying on play. Charlie’s reasons were that he was ‘trying to get the ball back to a Chelsea player’. Bullshit. There was no ‘trying to get the ball back to a Chelsea player’ in any part of his maneuver. Eden Hazard was obviously pissed off about this and descended upon Charlie and kicked out in an attempt to get the ball back to his losing team. Charlie claims it was a kick straight to his ribs. Come on Charlie, a kick to the ribs? Watch some UFC fights for a real kick to the ribs.
Anyhow, I didn’t know that being a ball boy included lying on the ball, rolling side to side, calling to the ref like a player, and pulling the most dramatic face that I can only relate to an 86 year old geriatric trying to pass wind. What are they teaching them at academy these days?
Since becoming a subject of this assault, dear old Charlie has gone from a few measly Twitter followers to over 80k in one night. ONE NIGHT.
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Before the game Charlie wrote this on his Twitter:
‘The king of all ball boys is back making his final appearance #needed #for #timewasting
– Charlie Morganâ„¢ (@CHARLIEM0RGAN)’
It’s also interesting to find out that Charlie is indeed the son of the Swansea Board Director, Martin Morgan.
Here’s what the Daily Mail had to say about the ordeal in their usual over the top fashion:
Hey Charlie, well done on a cracking performance. You got to meet the players in the changing room, got the nation in a bit of an uproar, Chris Hoy made one of the worst footballing decision since Ronaldhino lobbed Seaman at the Euros a few years back, and of course, you made Hazard your bitch. Must be a good feeling. I smell an Emmy for dear old Charlie Morgan.
I must say I have enjoyed the reactions, YouTube comments, Twitter comments and all, but the best has to go to ‘footballpredicitons’ for this belter of a Tweet –
Hazard kicked the ballboy for keeping the ball. Torres would have missed him, Cole would have shot him and Terry would have shagged him.
– footballpredictions (@tfpredictions)
South Wales Police have been involved investigating the matter and we are pleased to announce that the boy and his father will NOT be pressing charges against the team or Hazard. Hazard has promised not to kick anymore people without just cause.
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