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This Guy Dated A Cockroach And Had Sex Dreams About It Because Humans Aren’t As Attractive

Cockreaoch

Right.

Everyone knows that it can difficult to find love in your life, but that doesn’t mean that you’re going to have to turn to a cockroach in order to find that special person.

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This was the unusual path that was trodden by a guy from Japan called Yuta Shinohara who purchased a cockroach from Africa named Lisa and instantly knew that he wanted to spend the rest of his life with it, even going as far as to admit that he had sex dreams about it (I’m refusing to give it a gender because it’s a goddamn cockroach ok?). Unfortunately for Yuta though, Lisa sadly passed away one year into their relationship, so he did what anyone would do in a situation where a loved one passes away: he ate her.

Clearly Yuta has a bit of a screw loose, but here’s what he had to say about his bizarre relationship:

It could’ve been my imagination, since I got too attached over time, that I started to feel as if we were communicating.

We were 100% serious. No human girl was as attractive as Lisa. Lisa was my first love, I pictured doing it with her many times because I really liked her.

I know it’s impossible but I imagined a world where cockroaches become supersized or I become small.

The day she passed away was difficult but I knew it had to come since she was a cockroach with a short life span.

With that in mind, I ate her in reverence. So now, Lisa lives in my heart and continues living as part of my body.

Wow. It’s not often I condemn people on this website for being complete and utter weirdos, but man is this dude up there. Like I always say, people can do whatever they want if they aren’t harming others, but I seriously think that this guy might do something dangerously messed up in the future.

I mean following the death of his love, he’s now pursuing a career in insect cuisine, regularly serving food such as bug cocktails and insect pastries. That is just not normal, I’m sorry.

Best of luck to him though – just hope I’m not writing about him doing something seriously messed up in a few weeks.

For more of the same, check out this horrendous inflatable cockroach. Maybe Yuta should invest in one of those for some ‘real life’ sex sessions.


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