Old people are always getting dissed for not knowing how to use technology, but 83-year-old grandma Hattie Retroage is smashing those stereotypes by learning how to swipe on Tinder in search of young dick.
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Indeed, Hattie isn’t looking for men her own age, but rather younger men who know how to please an octogenarian like herself:
Younger men, they get off on getting a woman off – very different from when I was younger.
Hattie told the Metro how she was married for 25+ years and had a ‘wonderful sex life.’ However she pines for the casualness of modern dating, and now exclusively goes out with men many years her junior:
I screw, I sleep with, I make love with many men and not one of them has said, “I want you for my life”.
She wants to change the perception of the word ‘cougar’:
Cougars, as I see them, are not beasts of prey, they are an exquisite animal.
I’m never on the prowl. I never approach a man, men always approach me.
Since downloading Tinder 8 months ago, Hattie says she has hooked up with almost 50 men. Gwan Hattie!
Her Tinder bio reads: ‘Hattie, 83, fascinating older beauty. Seeking a steady younger friend/lover for a shared life of adventure and passion. No pro-Trump and no players.’
Straight to the point marketing right there.
The youngest man she has been with was 19, and she is currently dating Shaun, 33, making him 50 years younger than Hattie.
My life goal is to change the awful, decrepit view of ageing – view and experience, and turn it into something exciting. A life-loving adventure.
The depth of life, you can’t avoid it. But the shallowness of good sex, that’s what is good enough for me.
Fair play to Hattie for putting herself out there and being an inspiration for OAP cougars worldwide. I mean imagine being a teen/20/30 year old dude and coming across Hattie’s photos on Tinder. It’s a swipe right waiting to happen every time.
No doubt Hattie is in full agreement with the London grandma who says her secret to staying young is having sex with 200 toyboys in their 20s.