Obesity has long been a huge problem in the western world, with many people simply unable or unwilling to lose weight through natural methods like doing more exercise or eating less. Thankfully though for those who are that way inclined, there now might be an answer in the form of frozen poo pills. No, I’m not joking.
Scientists have made the breakthrough that changes in the make-up of the digestive microbiomes (basically the tiny organisms that live inside us) affects obesity and some bacteria seem to encourage the body to store more fat. The solution to getting rid of these organisms and replacing them with ones that don’t is to eat the shit of someone with the good organisms inside them. Seriously.
The tests have already proven successful on rodents and will have human subjects later this year to see how people with obesity are affected upon ingesting these poop pills. Hopefully it works and then the whole world can become addicted to other people’s faecal matter in their attempts to stay skinny.
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The study will be led by Elaine Yu at Massachusetts General Hospital. The poop of healthy lean patients will be taken, and then a gram or two of it will be placed into small capsules after it has been frozen. 20 obese volunteers will receive a six-week course of the pills and will be asked to maintain their regular dietary and exercise habits, and their weight will be recorded after three, six and twelve month intervals.
This should then determine whether other people’s turds can actually cure obesity. I’m really anxious to find out the results of this because it would literally blow my mind if people get skinny by eating other people’s shit. That is insane.
In any case, it’s a better use for frozen poo than dropping it off an airplane and knocking some poor woman out.