A few years back, I logged into Facebook only to be greeted with an image of my partially-clenched buttocks (looking deceptively peachy) surrounded by a group of ladies wincing/laughing/convulsing in shock.
The comment section was brimming with witnesses painting me as some sort of cock-wielding maniac, storming house parties dong-in-palm, twirling my junk at the innocent and the vulnerable.
When, in truth, this was a justified flashing. I set the record straight with a formal statement from the perspective of me and my much criticised dong.
(I have been known to party naked, but mainly when the dress-code is in my hands.)
â˜› Watch Next: Naked Man Goes on a Rampage
â˜› Watch Next: Naked Woman Goes on a Rampage in McDonald’s