Science Is Working On Developing An ‘Exercise Pill’ In What Is Probably The Greatest News Ever

FINALLY – the pill we’ve all been waiting for.

In news that sounds way too good to be true but is 100% legit, scientists are developing an ‘exercise pill’ that will be sure to alleviate any guilt you have about spending all day on the couch or in front of a screen.

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Late last week the science world dropped two papers on the potential for an exercise pill, and while they don’t outright say there’ll be no need for going to the gym or dieting with this pill, they don’t exactly rule it out either:

It is unrealistic to expect that exercise pills will fully be able to substitute for physical exercise — at least not in the immediate future.

Although nothing can fully substitute for physical exercise, candidate exercise pills that have emerged in recent years may be an attractive alternative for people who are unable to undertake regular exercise because of medical conditions such as obesity, amputations, spinal injuries, metabolic diseases, and musculoskeletal or cardiovascular conditions

For example, a pill for people with spinal cord injury could be very appealing given the difficulties that these individuals face in exercising due to paralysis — in such patients, a large number of detrimental changes occur in cardiovascular and skeletal muscle function.


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Most of the current work in developing this pill is in the experimental stage right now, with tests being run on lab animals. In fact they’d almost nailed the formula back in 2006 with a drug called GW501516… but had to abandon it because it gave the animals cancer.

Still, nearly 10 years later they’re much closer to making the exercise pill a reality, as Dr. Nolan Hoffman explains:

While scientists have long suspected that exercise causes a complicated series of changes to human muscle, this is the first time we have been able to map exactly what happens. This is a major breakthrough, as it allows scientists to use this information to design a drug that mimics the true beneficial changes caused by exercise.


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Say it with me everyone — FINALLY. This is exactly the kind of thing that governments should be pumping money into (as opposed to, say, research on why lesbians are fat). Basically the perfect pill for lazy motherfuckers around the globe. That’s a pill people will pay top coin for — never mind a monthly gym membership.

Take notes, AIDS pharma CEO guy.


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