English Accents Just Got Ranked In Order Of Sexiness And People Aren’t Happy

For an island that’s so small, it’s kind of crazy the variation in accents that you can find all over the place and this does facilitate the endless debate over which accent is actually the sexiest in the United Kingdom.

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The latest people to give their opinions on the matter are the blog ‘Lovin’ Manchester’, which unsurprisingly voted the Manchester accent as the best in the country and then proceeded to pretty much diss every other one of the 50 regional variants in their list. Of course, the Birmingham accent ended up bottom, but here’s the whole list along with their ‘tongue in cheek’ comments (apparently some of these are really offensive, so maybe don’t read them if you don’t like people dissing your accent):

51. Birmingham

Let’s face it, you don’t want a brummy reading the 9 o’clock news while you’re eating your cheerios.

Nobody deserves that first thing.

50. Bristol

A hearty, rum ol’ mystery of a sound. Learn what ‘lush’ and ‘gert’ mean and you’re pretty much fluent.

49. Hull

Correctly pronounced: ‘ull

48. Sheffield

Just don’t expect sentences to use conjoining words…

47. Wolverhampton

Run.

Far, far away from this place.

46. Wakefield

Meh.

45. Norwich

If it were a colour it would be beige.

44. St Albans

Double meh.

43. Salisbury

Know ‘sausage sandwich’ and you’re practically fluent.

42. Southampton

The language of old. We’ve never met anyone under 50 from here…

41. Truro

Correctly pronounced, ‘Truru’, don’t you know!

40. Coventry

The land of elongated words. Takes them a good hour to say anything at all.

39. Newcastle

We had enough of this when Cheryl Cole was on the X Factor.

38. Leicester

Controversial perhaps. But to some people it’s just a bit neutral.

37. Portsmouth

Broad, country. Need we say more?

36. Preston

Salt o’ the Earth folk. God love ’em.

35. Exeter

Ie exile – and if you heard them you’d understand why…

34. Peterborough

A truly frightening sound.

33. Durham

Don’t go if you don’t like being called ‘pet.’

32. Sunderland

Ditto x 1000

31. York

We could listen to the dulcet tones all day…

30. Plymouth

Some might even say poetic.

29. Stoke-on-Trent

A strange breed of manc, scouse and brum rolled into one!

28. Liverpool

Our advice? Hire a translator – pronto.

27. Reading

Pretty inoffensive but when they talk you listen.

26. Winchester

Practically perfect in every way.

25. Wells

A complete and utter mystery. Does anyone even live here?!

24. Warrington

Anyone have an opinion? Anyone?..

23. Bradford

Allegedly the pioneers of the British curry, so these guys are ok with us.

22. Lincoln

Bit whiny, but excellent sausages.

21. Chester

About as civilised as it gets.

20. Worcester

Ditto.

19. Lancaster

Loud with a dash of mischief.

18. Bath

Bath or Bathe – that’s the question.

17. Brighton

Both frightening and fascinating.

16. Canterbury

Folkish and soothing.

15. Chelmsford

Disntinctly undistinctive.

14. Carlisle

Strange Yorkshire-Lancashire hybrid.

13. Chichester

If you can pronounce the name, you’re halfway there already.

12. Derby

Relatively soft and gentle, considering

11. Ely

Not as ethereal as you might think…

10. Hereford

Quintessentially British.

9. Lichfield

Alright, me duck?

8. Oxford

The quintessential English accent? We can’t make up our minds.

7. Nottingham

Or ‘Notts’ as it’s known to residents – who have a peculiar desire to shorten everything.

6. Ripon

An unusual blend of North and South.

5. Salford

Technically a city in its own right, and a bloody good one at that (not that we’re biased, or anything.)

4. Gloucester

Increases in intensity as you move towards the city.

3. Cambridge

Hard to distinguish it as a unique accent as the place is inundated with ‘rah’ like students, all of whom are from Guildford anyway.

2. London

Hard to resist the charm of the Queen’s English… if you can get them to give you the time of day, that is.

1. Manchester

There is no competition.

Land of the barm, home of the free – and habitat of the bee.

Yer alright, our kid.

Well, was that a useful list or not? Probably not really as it’s all the opinion of one writer – some girl called Amy from the Lovin’ Manchester blog, who I’m sure has a great Manchester accent. But hey, that hasn’t stopped people getting their knickers in a twist about it.

Here are a couple of the most offended tweets about this list:

https://twitter.com/KXRRIE/status/897453203314311168?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw&ref_url=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.indy100.com%2Farticle%2Fbritish-accents-ranked-manchester-sexy-reactions-twitter-7894766

https://twitter.com/LaurenRoseBoyle/status/897172980291309570?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw&ref_url=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.indy100.com%2Farticle%2Fbritish-accents-ranked-manchester-sexy-reactions-twitter-7894766

https://twitter.com/DAWDrums/status/897126969720090624?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw&ref_url=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.indy100.com%2Farticle%2Fbritish-accents-ranked-manchester-sexy-reactions-twitter-7894766

https://twitter.com/ChristinaaaLFC/status/897405427541049344?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw&ref_url=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.indy100.com%2Farticle%2Fbritish-accents-ranked-manchester-sexy-reactions-twitter-7894766

Geez, can’t believe people care so much to be honest, I mean it’s just on some blog so it’s not like it’s official – it’s not even in a national newspaper or anything. Get a grip guys, people will still like your accent even if Amy says it’s crap and writes a pithy little comment about it that might be slightly funny but probably isn’t. Calm down and stop worrying.

For more accents, check out the top 10 worst accents in films. What the hell were they thinking?