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The Eels In The Thames Are ‘Hyperactive’ Due To Its High Cocaine Levels

Eels

That London cocaine problem.

I feel like almost everyone in the world is aware of the fact that there’s pretty much a huge cocaine problem in London, but if you ever wanted any more evidence of it then all you need to do is read this article.

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A research paper commissioned by King’s College London has found that there’s so much cocaine usage in London that traces of the drug are detectable in the River Thames and that this is also making the eels in the river hyperactive. It was also noted that cocaine use in the city stays consistent throughout the week as compared with other European cities where it peaks at the weekends.

Here’s exactly what the paper says:

Eels 2

Image VIA

Concentrations of cocaine and benzoylecgonine remained high in wastewater across the week with only a minor increase over the weekend, which is not consistent with other cities.

London is known as one of the highest consumers of cocaine and this suggested everyday usage.

Increases in caffeine, cocaine and benzoylecgonine were observed 24 hours after sewer overflow events.

The thing about the eels came from another study that was presented alongside it courtesy of the University Of Naples, which proved that eels became hyperactive when placed in a solution of cocaine and water. No shit – sounds kinda like animal cruelty there as well hey doesn’t it?

Kinda feel sorry for the eels in the Thames, but even if this article gets shared far and wide I doubt it’s going to stop anyone from their naughty little weekend – sorry weekday – habit any time soon. That’s just the way that city rolls unfortunately.

For more of the same, check out these drug dealers who are now offering cocaine loyalty cards. Awesome.


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