These days there is a lot of competition on Tinder for a guy. Securing a date can be a struggle in itself – once you’ve made it past that milestone, the least you could do is try not to completely balls up the initial meeting.
Featured Image VIA
This shouldn’t be too hard, unless you’re the guy in this Reddit post. Instead of striking up a conversation about common interests, background and family etc. he decided to make a pretty left field joke (or at least it is left field if you don’t know whether your date understands sarcasm or not):
So because of circumstances beyond my control this didn’t happen today.
Cue my first date with a girl I met on Tinder, we meet up at a restaurant and get to talking. This are going great, she thinks I’m funnier in person (when does that ever happen?!), she actually invites me to the mall to hangout more with some of her friends when dinner is over.
So after the food arrives the conversation turns a little more towards how we met (pay close attention and you will spot my mistake). She states she’s glad I’m normal and not some sort of serial killer.
Now I could have just laughed… I could have but I was funny remember? I replied with “Oh thanks for thinking I’m normal! But I actually am a serial killer, bodies for days buried out at the farm.”
She laughed, I laughed, I thought I did great at making it sound sarcastic.
She excuses herself to the bathroom to do whatever girls do in bathrooms on dates. It was taking a questionably long time for her to return and I was slightly worried she bailed and stuck me with the bill, my luck right? Wrong.
So unbelievably wrong, my luck was worse as police officers suddenly appear out of nowhere and tell me to keep both of my hands visible on the table.
At this point I’m confused, this must be a joke. I see my date coming with a staff member and get ready for Ashton Kutcher to appear, no such luck.
The police ask if it’s me and she says ya, the cops get me to stand up and handcuff me and walk me out, not a single person seems to want to answer any of my questions.
I’m in the car and the police are outside talking to my date for a few minutes when they get into the car with me and ask me if I told my date I was a serial killer, areyoufuckingkiddingme…
I tell them yes but I was joking.
LPT: Don’t admit to police you told someone you were a serial killer.
So that derailed my plans, I spent the next 5-6 hours explaining myself over and over and over that I was kidding.
I guess eventually they either believed me or got tired of hearing me speak much to my lawyers disapproval (to me speaking) and let me go and reminded me that my jokes suck.
I’m not sure how date number two will go but I’m excited to find out, also a bright side is that I have no idea who paid for my food.
TL:DR: I made a joke I was a serial killer, date doesn’t get sarcasm, I spend hours in the police station.
I’ve got to say, if this went down in the UK, the guy would’ve at least got a laugh out of the girl. How could she not understand that it was a joke? Bloody Americans and their wet humour.
Either way, that poor guy. He thought he was going on a first date with the potential to shag at the end of it, but the only job he got at the end of the night was explaining to the police that he’s not a hardened psychopath. At least he’s learned his lesson for next time. Pro tip – don’t joke about being a serial killer, whether on Tinder chat or the first date. That’s second or third date material.
For our weekly round up of the best and worst Tinder profiles and conversations, click HERE.