David Cameron Is Extremely Worried That Too Many People Are Having Anal Sex

The Queen and David Cameron

So pigs are okay but anal isn’t. Right, Dave?

You might think that with all of the furore over the Panama Papers revelations David Cameron might have bigger things to be worrying about. However, a recent document released by a governmental department expresses concerns over the number of people trying anal sex for the first time.

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Officials at the Department for Culture, Media and Sport (side note – since when was anal sex considered cultural, media related or a fucking sport? No pun intended) on behalf of David Cameron’s Government have spoken out about how baffled they are by the increased popularity of the act. Particularly as recent research has shown it provides no pleasure for the, err, receiver.

Woman's Bum

The concerns are raised in a document released by the department, and suggests that the rising figure is a result of young people watching more pornography. Which in turn encourages them to bend over. For some reason the Government reckons this is an unwelcome development and wants to put a plug in it. Kinky.

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The document reads:

Many people worry that young people will come to expect their real life sexual experiences to mirror what they or their peers see in pornography, which often features ambiguous depictions of consent, submissive female stereotypes and unrealistic scenarios.

There is also a question about the effect of pornography on ‘unwanted sex’ — for instance more young people are engaging in anal intercourse than ever before despite research which suggests that it is often not seen as a pleasurable activity for young women.

While the increase in anal sex cannot be attributed directly to pornography consumption, it does feature in a large percentage of mainstream pornography (for example, one content analysis found it featured in 56% of sex scenes).

Pretty much the long and short of this is that the Government reckons restricting porn further than they already have will result in less people trying anal sex. They also for some unbeknownst reason reckon that this is both a necessary and desired outcome. Clearly, Jeremy Hunt is too busy being crowned Dick of The Year to be experimenting with any Parliamentary back doors.


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